


Can’t Means You Don’t Want To

by HadleyJo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-01-27 17:50:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21396214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HadleyJo/pseuds/HadleyJo
Summary: “We just can’t Malfoy, you know I’m with Lorcan...” Rose stuttered slightly.He looked taken aback a little, his smug look turned to a small frown - “Can’t means you don’t want too.”
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter/Original Female Character(s), Lily Luna Potter & Lysander Scamander, Lorcan Scamander/Rose Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy & Rose Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Weasley
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34
Collections: Favourite Harry Potter Reads, Harry Potter - Next Generation (Mostly Scorose), Harry Potter Smut





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was previously posted in HPFF and I plan on getting back into it. It may also be editing to fix somethings. This is very smutty, kinda violent, and to be honest might not be everyone’s cup of tea - features MMF scene(s) and there could be more in the future. This whole story is a handful of something.

Empty mugs littered the floors of the Slytherin common room, there where a few lingering students whom hadn’t quite made it to their dorms or even to their correct house. Rose Weasley was one of those students, she had curled up under a green blanket and passed out on the big comfy couch that was closest to the fireplace. When she woke up her mouth tasted of some muggle liquor her cousin Fred had snuck in. So much liquor. She blinked her eyes a few times, quick to judge her surroundings and make sure that she wouldn’t step on anyone if she decided to maneuver her way out of the common room. Malfoy, Scorpius Malfoy that is, was laying under the table where her shoes had managed to end up - her bag was still tucked in the same corner she’d left it. Albus had showed her the hiding spot inside the corner of the table, someone had enchanted it to make it bigger to be able to hide things. 

Rose stepped around the sleeping boy with the beautiful blonde hair she’d always envied. Malfoy was in the gang that consisted of her cousin Albus, the Scamander twins, and a twat named Robbie Scott. Rose was often times hanging around them because she was Albus’ favorite cousin (or so she liked to think) and Lorcan Scamander - the Hufflepuff twin - was her long term boyfriend ; they’d been together since third year and had been flirting since they where kids. They kinda always knew they would be together, he was her best friend and she his. They’d been through quite a bit through the years but Rose loved him. She almost couldn’t imagine any one else, almost. 

She looked around the room for Lorcan before pulling out her little cigar holder her grandfather Arthur had given her. It was beautiful, a silver casing with daffodils etched into it, and beautiful yellow satin interior. It also perfectly fit her rolled blunts, Rose had unfortunately picked up the habit awhile back once she caught her dad using it, and he had offered her to hit it. He told her it helped with his anxiety and PTSD from the war, he’d even let slip on occasions her mum would even smoke some. The war had devastated her parents and countless other people, some people were never truly the same. She knew some families had it worse after the war. Those who were caught up on the wrong side. 

“You gonna share some of that?” A sleepy voice made her jump slightly, she exhaled and looked back at Malfoy who was now detangling himself from the tables leg. He’d broken her trance, and found herself giving him a small smile.

“Is there a place we can smoke relatively close? I’d rather not have to go outside right now, I don’t even know what time it is...” he smirked at her words. 

“I may know a place, but it might look weird if we’re coming out of a broom closet together...” he trailed off his cheeks a little pink, Rose hadn’t noticed because the green glow of the room canceled it out. 

She didn’t much like the idea of being so close to the boy, he’d always been rather to much, but especially to her. Rose found her eyes rolling almost automatically, “Don’t flatter yourself Malfoy.” She sighed, giving him a once over, “Come on, let’s go in here at least I can use a smoke containment spell and it won’t release it into the common room.” Opening the door to the small broom closet, Malfoy stepped in after her. She closed the door and quickly whispered “Quae Fumigant” 

“Smoke containment enchantment I’ll have to remember that one...” Scorpius muttered, rummaging his hand through his messy blonde hair. Rose could let help but notice he seemed self conscious, “I’m a mess, don’t look at me” he chuckled as he noticed her gaze on his hair. 

“If you’re a mess then I must be trash,” Rose rolled her eyes, “Incendio” and the blunt started to smoke, Rose inhaled deeply letting the smoke fill her lungs like oxygen, before exhaling and passing it to Malfoy. 

“Definitely not a mess, Weasley.” 

When he passed it back he was watching the way her lips moved when she hit the blunt, the way she inhaled and exhaled. He was enchanted by her, he had kind of always been - but he had respect for the bro code; even if it did hurt to see her with him. Not that Lorcan Scamander was a bad guy, but on one or more occasions Scorpius could see him being a Slytherin rather than a Hufflepuff. Rose tapped him to give him the blunt which pulled him from his thoughts. They passed it around a few times, getting about halfway done with it, Rose wasn’t keen on smoking a whole blunt and only liked to do a quarter by herself - a half with two people - she got too high and would have to sit down and go to the kitchens to raise her blood sugar levels back up. 

“Want me to put it out?” Malfoy asked her, as she shook her head no to the next hit.

Rose nodded and Malfoy leaned closer to her to put it out on the marked wood towards the back of the closet. His chest was close to hers, he looked down at her and her breath caught - she was a little unsteady and decided to chalk it up the pot. It wasn’t like Scorpius hadn’t caused these feelings in her before, like she’d said before Scorpius was a lot to take in. She took a slight step back before realizing she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Her auburn curls framed her face and her hazel eyes caught his piercing steel ones looking back at her. 

She bit her lip and took a deep breath in, a stray curl falling into her face. Malfoy moved closer and brushed the curl back behind her ear. His hand lingering for a second. She trembled a little bit at his touch, “We can’t...” her stomach had fallen or risen she wasn’t sure but she felt sick. Not this time it wouldn’t, she couldn’t do it again. 

“Why can’t we?” He couldn’t tell if he was still slightly intoxicated or if this was just the arrogance coming out, Rose Weasley could do better and he knew it. 

He bet anything that Rose’s face would be hot to the touch, but he stopped himself from brushing his fingers across her cheek in case he couldn’t control himself. “We just can’t Malfoy, you know I’m with Lorcan...” Rose stuttered slightly. 

He looked taken aback a little, his smug look turned to a small frown - “You didn’t say that before...” He smirked before continuing, “Can’t means you don’t want too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I really really can’t Scorp.”
> 
> “But you want too..”

Footsteps, hurried footsteps. It was the middle of the night and Rose’s thin house shoes didn’t stand a chance against the cool floor of the great castle she called her home. She was wearing night pants that the muggles called yoga pants, presumably for doing yoga - but they were comfortable enough to wear to bed, around the castle - basically anywhere. They also made her butt look phenomenal- but hey who’s counting? Her yellow hoodie had been thrown on top of her lacey sports bra she slept in, it was comfortable and sometimes the Hufflepuff dorms got a little to warm. Her auburn hair was a mess, cascading in waves and mixed in ringlets.

Hunger had driven her out of bed at this hour, the corridors where quiet as she made her way down to the kitchens, searching for the fruit portrait. Upon finding it, she made sure to tickle the pear, which then turned into a door handle. Ahh, the magic of Hogwarts!

There weren’t many elves up, in fact there was only one. He was conversing with someone, Rose couldn’t tell if it was a professor or another student. Her stomach dropped and she wondered if she should even have come down here, was it really worth risking points or a possible detention for food. Yes, yes it was. “Aww, Miss Weasley...” the house elf squeaked her name. 

“Out of bed to I see,” Malfoy. Dammit Malfoy. He was lounging against the wall, a green apple in his hand.

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep...” Rose’s eyes lingered on the approaching blonde, her stance slightly sleepy. She must look a mess; auburn curls sticking out of her space buns and cascading down here face in a wild manner. 

“Midnight snack Miss?” The elf beamed, offering her a bowl of banana pudding. Rose gratefully accepted, taking the bowl and spoon - “Thank you!” Rose beamed and nodded in appreciation. 

Rose leaned against the wall, eating her pudding. Only to look up and see Malfoy looking at her, okay staring at her. The way his eyes raked over was making her uneasy, and slightly upset with herself as she felt the need to touch him. He accepted his own bowl of pudding from the elf before finally speaking “I didn’t know you came for midnight snacks too.” He let his spoon hang in his mouth, Rose realized they where given honey spoons. So basically a spoon lollipop. 

Rose smirked at him, “Brainfood, since I can’t sleep might as well do something...” She watched his eyebrows shoot up a little bit before he plastered a smirk on it. 

His eyes glinted with amusement as her lips pulled up in a smile. His face was in a half smirk half smile, he was studying her face - she could see he wanted to say something, so she took the bait “What Malfoy?” 

“Nothing R-,” he paused, licking his bottom lip, “Weasley..” he looked at her house shoes before grinning, only continuing when she gave him a questioning look “I could think of a few things you could do...” 

“Malfoy!” Rose blushed - looking down away from him, how dare he insinuate that. “You can’t just stay stuff like that.” 

“Hey now you’re the one who took it like that; we could have gone back to the common room and you could help me with my charms essay, or I could help with the potions project I know you haven’t started... you did say brain food?” He smirked at her, placing his bowl of eaten pudding down and picking up another green apple. 

“Ohh, well that’s more tame than-” she started but was cut off by a bright eyed Malfoy. 

“Than what Weasley?” He mused, looking her over before taking a step towards her, obviously taking her words as encouragement. 

Rose turned a little green, she was panicky “I.. nothing.. Nothing Malfoy, drop it.” She had to cut off a please before it slipped out. Her mind was fuzzy. 

He stepped closer, making her more uncomfortable with each step, but did she really want him to stop? Not really. Even with Lorcan, she didn’t want Malfoy to stop. That was the weird thing, he was her almost. “Malfoy you have to not, I have to go..” 

He was basically right in front of her: his body inches away from hers easily blocking her in, “I’m curious Rose, what do you think I meant?” 

“Malfoy... I can’t answer that.” 

“Can’t means you don’t want too.” 

“And you’re right I don’t want too Malfoy.” She kept saying his last name as if it would help her resist her own thoughts. She wanted to snog him, kind of wanted to shag him right there in the kitchen - but Lorcan. Boundaries. They needed boundaries. She and Scorpius Malfoy did not need to be alone together. Under any circumstances. 

He sighed, “I think you just might want too,” he pushed her hair out of her face, his fingertips grazing her cheek. Only one Of his hands blocking her in now. 

Rose trembled a little, feeling a jolt of tension like electricity flowing between the two of them. She just wanted to know what his lips tasted like... He was so close to her. She could feel his breath mingling with hers, she wanted to push him away. “He’s one of your best mates Scor - don’t do this... don’t let me do this.” Rose basically begged. 

“Don’t let you? Ohhh you sound sexy when you beg..” 

Her eyes flashed dangerously. “Are you going to step aside Malfoy? I should be off to bed.” Rose all but whimpered, inching closer to the free side. 

He closed the gap between them, his face super close to hers, his chest almost touching her own, she was trapped between him and the wall “So if I just didn’t let you...?” He whispered in her ear, causing her to lean away a little leaving her neck exposed more. Her head was fighting with her own intruding thoughts. She was too reactive to him, but he knew that. Gods did he know that. 

He approached her with caution moving slowly, waiting to see if she’d stop him. Pressing all the luck. He finally touched his lips to her neck, careful not to leave any marks, just light kisses. She moaned lightly and he placed his hand on her mouth “Don’t want to get caught do we?” He said softly between kisses, moving to her collar bone where he bit down a little. 

“Then answer me!” He whispered harshly against her skin. 

“No, I don’t.” She whispered, her eyes wondering as he bit down a second time.

“Hey no marks!” Rose’s words were muffled behind his hand. 

“Sorry, I got carried away a little bit...” he whispered in her ear again, dropping his hand from her mouth and placing it on her hip, moving slightly up so he could feel skin under her jacket, “Maybe you should answer me the first time?”. 

Rose whimpered at his touch, “I really really can’t Scorp.” 

“But you want too..” his lips planted kisses on her neck, before he caressed her face and tilted her chin up and pushed his lips to hers. 

She gasped and then they melted together, fused in a sense, their lips met and time stood still. His hands found hers and pushed hers against the wall, putting all of his pressure on her - maybe to much of his erm - “pressure” Rose broke away to kiss his neck, getting carried away herself and accidentally leaving a mark. “Ohh Merlin I’m sorry...” she pulled away, touching her fingers to his neck where it was slightly red. “I should really go now..” 

Scorpius let go of her hands, looking longingly at her lips, kissed her one last time before stepping back from her. “I may have gotten carried away - I apologize.” He didn’t look sorry, but he never was. 

“How about we just don’t talk about this?” Rose took a deep breath, a little shaken, her bottom lip swollen. 

Rose exited the kitchen, just before she watched Scorpius slam his fist into the wall of the kitchen, which wasn’t smart because it was brick. She wasn’t sure if he was mad at her, himself or just the situation. 

As she walked back to the Gryffindor common room she only hoped no one was in there, she just wanted to go to her dorm and sleep it off. Maybe wake up and hope it had all been a dream... except she knew it wasn’t and the guilt was already taking over on one side and on the other she wanted to do it again. Then there was Lorcan and she thought about avoiding him, but knew that was not the way to do this - and even if she did her and Scorpius - Malfoy couldn’t come out as a couple. Would he even want to come out as a couple? Would he want to be a couple? Rose face palmed herself and entered her common room - not a soul in sight so it was safe to go straight to her dorm. Although she probably wouldn’t sleep much.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to believe me...”
> 
> “I’ll believe it when you can.”

Rose’s head hit the table, her eyes droopy. “Rosie, I say this with love - but you look like absolute shite mate.” Rose lifted her head to give her cousin Albus, the dark haired spitting image of his father, a glare and a casual middle finger. 

“I think you look beautiful and just need to eat something.. long night?” Lorcan asked putting some turkey bacon on her plate followed by some pineapple slices. Guilt slashed through Rose like a knife, she offered him a sweet smile and tried to hide her guilt, she didn’t want to ruin his morning. Lorcan was scary when he was worked up, Rose didn’t like to get on his bad side; and she’d been there too often. 

“Just couldn’t sleep,” Rose looked at the piled up plate, but not before stealing a glance at the blonde Slytherin sitting next to her cousin who was very quiet this morning. “But a breakfast of champions should get me going.” She gave Lorcan a small smile, her stomach getting nauseated slightly.

She was sure she was probably a slight shade of green, she sipped her water - hoping it would help. “I’m not feeling good, I could go for some air - maybe take a walk? You guys have practice today right? It’s still on Sunday mornings like they used to be?” 

Lorcan was on the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team, as a beater. Rose used to play keeper for Gryffindor, but after a fall that left her in the hospital wing for quite sometime she had some PTSD and didn’t want to go back, a broken femur, dislocated hip, and besides Mallory Fasen was a better keeper than she could be, younger and they wouldn’t have to worry with replacing Rose after next year. 

“Yeah we still have practice this morning, want to meet me out there?” Lorcan grinned, “I mean after practice that way you can get a walk in - just don’t go wondering off into the forest by yourself.” 

Rose smiled, “Yeah, I’ll see you after,” she ate the rest of her breakfast in peace, occasionally catching Scorpius looking at her too - which would bring on a whole other wave of guilt and reckless feelings. 

Once her breakfast was gone, Rose excused herself from the table and gave Lorcan a kiss on the cheek, “I’ll be around.” 

“Love you Rosie!” Lorcan called after her, not noticing the slight hesitation when she responded with an “I love you too.” But Scorpius noticed it, and maybe Albus too as he gave her a sideways look. 

Rose made her way towards the lake, one of Rose’s favorite spots to read and put her mind at ease and she needed that now. More than ever. She’d made it two chapters in when she heard the crunch of the twigs that scattered around the old tree. “Want some company?” Scorpius’ voice was soft, almost apologetic. 

“Scorpius...About last night...” Rose started, in a whisper that was almost inaudible. Scorpius leaned closer to her to hear her, she moved back a little, his cologne was intoxicating, it clung to his skin emitting notes of grapefruit, lavender, and a light tobacco smell. It wasn’t a cigarette smell, not that Scorpius would smoke the muggle death traps or have access to them. Rose shook her head slightly, moving away from him almost automatically.

“What do you wanna do Rose?” He asked looking down and biting his bottom lip, more out of nervousness than sex appeal. 

“We’re not going to do anything... last night shouldn’t have happened. That was wrong of us.. of me especially. No you too, because he’s your friend. I love him Malfoy.” 

He looked taken aback by the sudden switch back to his last name. “Are you sure about that?”

Rose gave him a feral look, her auburn locks bouncing as she turned to him, “Of course I’m sure, why would you even ask that?!” Her cheeks reddening, from anger maybe? 

“If you were sure you wouldn’t have let it happen...” he paused for a second, “and you wouldn’t have hesitated this morning before saying it back to him.”

“You were watching me?” Rose huffed a little bit, putting her head against the tree and closing her eyes to steady her breathing. “I can’t do this with you.” 

“You just don’t want to.” He sighed, standing up and pushing his hair back.

Rose watched him walk away before speaking up “I want to believe me...” and he stopped, looked back at her and smirked. 

“I’ll believe it when you can.” His response triggered an eye roll before she returned to her book. Sighing deeply and getting lost in the words.

“What did Scorpius want?” Albus’ voice made her jump, he must have seen the look on her face because he questioned her again, “It’s just I didn’t know you guys hung out?” 

“He wanted to know if I could help him with the potions assignment, apparently he’s hung up on something.” She would skip over the fact that he was hung up on her. 

“He told me he finished that! Fucking git.” Albus rolled his eyes as he frowned, clearly agitated. “He could have just asked me for help, I mean I am third in the class.” 

“I’m second best Al,” Rose interjected in on his thoughts, I think he’s going through something because he never needs help. I’ve tried to best him in that class for years.” 

Albus hesitated, “Rose is there anything going on I should know about?” 

“No, why would there be? Is there something I should know about?” Albus looked puzzled at her words before shrugging them off. 

“You’d tell me if something was wrong or if something happened right?” He basically squeaked our, Rose could tell he didn’t believe her and she was overwhelmed with guilt on different levels. 

“Al, of course I would.” How many lies would it take for her to tell before she believed herself?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Grandpa Arthur is loaning us his van!”

Rose had put some distance between her and her group of guys, choosing instead to tag along with Lily on weekends and annoy her friend Jo - who was always around her fling of the week. Rose spent most of her time in the library. She wasn’t really able to focus much and had even bought pills that where supposed to help her focus off a seventh year Ravenclaw; something like Addero or Adderal but all it did was keep her up for hours on end and make her feel like she had a fever. She didn’t really want to eat much either. She’d finished all of her homework for the next week and had even begged Professor Longbottom for a homework advance so she could get her assignments done early. Even Lorcan hardly saw her anymore, she wasn’t really sleeping. She’d lost some weight from stopping her midnight snack trips to the kitchens, or maybe eating in general. She hadn’t even realized she’d been skipping meals, just to stay hidden in the library. She’d place illusion charms and protective enchantments to keep her from being seen. She just didn’t want to risk anything, specifically not another meet up with Malfoy. Her skin erupted into goosebumps, that nauseated feeling bringinga pale green color to her mouth. It had never been like this, or maybe she’d just never been around him like that. Why all of a sudden, did he suddenly take interest? Rose exhaled deeply, calming her mind trying to force her thoughts away. There’d been that one time, but surely he didn’t hold onto that. Rose shuddered, she’d not done hardly anything but the whole situation was blown out of proportion and her consequences made her never wanna look his way again. 

“Hey Rosie,” it was Albus, fuck she must have not put up her enchantments - “James and the guys are getting a cabin for spring break if you’d like to join us?” 

Rose almost said no, Albus could see it on her face, “Just think about it, there’s gonna be booze - we can even get that fancy American wine you like! James mentioned something about a stripper pole being installed... I think he has some weird fantasy of being a stripper?” Albus tapered off, getting a raised eyebrow from Rose. 

“A stripper pole? I’m related to you and James - I don’t wanna see that. The others maybe...” Rose laughed, she had no clue what the hell they actually needed a stripper pole for. And why they were inviting her, “Why me? Why can’t it just be you guys?” 

Albus shifted uncomfortably, running his fingers through his dark hair. “Well - Lily has plans with Molly and Lucy for the week - and you seem kinda down and I know parties are your favorite and add in your favorite people? Lorcan will be there of course, you guys could have your own room! And Lily is worried about you - Jo’Ana too. They kind of suggested that we ask even if you don’t want too.”

Rose grimaced “Everyone is coming?” 

“I think Robbie wants too, but I’m not too sure if he is or not. Scorpius is for sure, he’s helping pay for it.” Albus brushed off her uneasy look, “Also you’re the only one I know that can safely get lots of pot and you’re the best roller around.” He grinned sheepishly. 

“You need me for drugs??”

“Well.. not all of them.” Albus flushed and lowered his voice 

“What do you mean not all of them?!” 

“Sssshhhhhhh. Rosie don’t be so loud. Scorpius is trying to get some x,” he shrugged - “just think about it and maybe soon because we need to know how much to get.” 

Rose contemplated, she’d only done ecstasy once before and it was pretty dope. She knew her cousins could get out of hand, Lorcan would be there. This could be exactly what she needed to have some one on one time with him. To connect again - they’d get to share a room. That was a perk. They’d only shared a room one time before and grandmum Molly completely chewed them out. They where even fully clothed! 

Wine did sound good and it was about time she had some friend time, “Yeah I’ll go. Can we see it Jo can come?” 

Albus grinned from ear to ear, pumping his fist into the air. “Yes! Brilliant!” He scattered off, probably to tell the guys. 

Rose figured she should probably find Lorcan and let him know, he wouldn’t be hard to find - after all she knew the password to the Hufflepuff Common Room since Lorcan and Jo’Ana both were Hufflepuff’s she could try to persuade Jo to come with. Making her way towards the Hufflepuff Common Room she caught him at the door, flinging herself into his arms, letting her take in his smell. Lorcan always smelled like pumpkin pasties and campfire - it was inviting. She pressed her lips to his neck, kissing him all over. “Someone’s happy to see me,” the smile was apparent in his words. 

“Albus told me about the trip, we get to share a room. Which means unlimited alone time, if you want it - or me.” Rose wrinkled her nose a bit. Snuggling into him, “I think it’ll be good to get out some. Get away from the library.” 

“You know you can always come hang out with us, they’re your friends too. You’ve been the one being distant, Love.” 

“I know I just don’t -“ 

“Don’t want?” His eyes narrowed a little, confusion showing on his face. 

“Didn’t think you guys would always want me hanging out with you guys, I need girl friends.” 

“Rose you’re basically one of the guys. The only one who may be bothered is Robbie and he’s a prick. Always will be.” Lorcan shrugged, his face giving her a reassuring grin. 

“What day are we leaving anyway?” Rose questioned, “I kinda wanted to see if Jo wants to come.”

Lorcan’s eyes got wide, “Al didn’t tell you we leave tomorrow night?” 

“Well shit! I have to pack and call my dad about the smokes! Wait who’s taking us?”

“Grandpa Arthur is loaning us his van!” Lorcan was talking about her grandparents, but as long as he’d been in their lives he was basically his grandfather as well. 

“In that case, I need to pack and to find Jo...” Rose looked up and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips, gently nipping his bottom lip before going through the Hufflepuff door. Jo of course wasn’t in the common room and when Rose made her way to the dorms she wasn’t their either. 

“If you see her can you please let her know I’m looking for her?” Rose puppy dog faced him before giving him another kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn’t help but shoot a look at Lorcan, feeling a twinge of guilt.

Rose was packed and ready to go, unfortunately Jo wouldn’t be able to come with, but she had owled her dad to stash some pot in the van they’d be taking, although she was sure her mom had helped because she noticed a small red bag, she was sure it had an extension charm placed on it. Upon peering inside, she could smell it already - quickly closing it back up. She shook it a little, hearing more than just one thing. She opened it up again, this time to see what else was in the bag. 

“Bless everything, dad even stashed me a lighter and wraps!” Her face beamed, she had run out recently and was super excited to smoke. She’d been more worried about the pills and her homework to worry about smoking - although it probably would have helped her sleeplessness. 

The guys piled into the car, James and Al getting in the front seat, Lysander and Robbie (which warranted an eye roll from Rose) took the middle row and that stuck Rose in the back row with Lorcan and Scorpius. Naturally the boys took the window seat, leaving Rose in the middle of the two of them. Little did she know this wouldn’t be the last time either. 

It wasn’t too terribly long of a ride, although Rose was asleep with her head on Lorcan’s shoulder, so she wasn’t exactly a good judge of time. She’d woken up once laying on Lorcan and Scorpius laying on her - both blonde boys chests lifting up and down almost in unison. It was dark out now, and she didn’t know quite what time it was. The darkness surrounding the cabin was almost pitch black. There was no lights surrounding it, except for the moon that shone brightly on the shiny windows. 

“I guess everyone should pick a room, James shrugged, “Rose and Lorcan, you guys have the master bedroom on the bottom floor, I’m taking top floor master - the rest of y’all fight it out. I’m hitting the sack.” James disappeared into the house after swinging his bag over his back. 

“I guess he doesn’t want to smoke a blunt then...” Rose spoke up, grabbing the little red bag and her luggage bag. 

Albus grinned, “Uncle Ron pulled threw!” He then glanced at Scorpius as if to ask him if he’d gotten anything. 

Scorpius only smirked in return, “Damn Rosie, you’ve already rolled it?” He watched her lick the wrap and finish the blunt, shaking his head a little to remove the image of her tongue and what it could do. He couldn’t help but shoot a look at Lorcan, feeling a twinge of guilt. He was one of his best mates, but he couldn’t help the feeling Rose gave him. 

“Oue! Malfoy!” Albus’ voice broke his train of thought, causing Scorpius to throw daggers in his glare. “I’m gonna end up skipping your turn,” Albus smirked at him, before turning his face to where he was looking. 

Scorpius took the blunt from him, hitting it a few times before passing it to Lysander. Once it had gone around a few times they put it out and Rose pulled out her little yellow cigar holder, placing the tiny piece in the container for later use. Scorpius made his way to his room, choosing the one next to the bathroom for access in the middle of the night, it also happened to be the other room on the bottom floor with Rose and Lorcan. He hadn’t thought that part through until he could hear her, and not just any hear her, but a few moans here and there. He couldn’t help but snigger to himself at the fleeting thought of he could make her moan louder. He face palmed himself, “Bad thoughts!” He hissed to himself, unable to ignore his growing bulge. He turned over, deciding not to do anything about his erm - issue. At least his bed was comfortable. Even if he wanted to be laying next to her. 

The next morning Rose woke up before the sun was up, it was a fault of hers. She wondered up to the kitchen quarters, still in her pajama shorts and tank top that she’d thrown on quickly. She wanted a cup of tea with honey, and she wanted it while she took a soak in the giant tub in her bathroom, oh the perks of a master bedroom. When she opened up the towel cabinet in the bathroom she saw epsom salts and bubble bath, she couldn’t resist. She loved the orange citrus smell and it was refreshing! She relaxed in her bath, until she started seeing light outside the bedroom window, it washed over the room painting it orange and bright. She knew someone was bound to be up soon, so she drained the tub and washed all the bubbles off of herself. She looked at her towel clad body, her auburn hair hanging down to her waist already curling. Ringlets forming and being pulled by gravity, her hazel eyes we’re more green than normal. Probably because of the steam. She brushed her teeth, she took pride in her nearly perfect teeth, sure she had a small gap in the front between her two front teeth but her teeth where a stunning white and she chalked it up to genetics and good dental hygiene. She wasn’t sure what she should wear, but pulled on a pair of high waisted shorts and a crop top and prayed to Merlin it wasn’t to cold out. She grabbed her fuzzy blanket, yellow because it was her favorite color, and draped it around her just in case. Her cigar case, she would smoke the roach with the first person to come join her on the deck, but first another cup of tea. Peppermint was her favorite wake up tea. 

Halfway through her glass of tea the sliding door opened up, a blonde boy stepped out, “Why did I know you’d be up already?” He groaned a little bit, running his fingers through his messy hair. 

“Didn’t know you were any early riser too...” Rose shot Scorpius a sideways glance, focusing on her tea which was still steaming. She pulled her blanket around her a little more, it was in the sixties probably, and took a long sip of her steaming tea. 

The air was thicker, or maybe it was the tension. They sat in silence, listening to the birds happily chirping in the brightening morning. “Are we gonna talk at all?” He spoke in a tone barely above a whisper. 

Rose chose to ignore his words, sipping her tea. Pulling out the roach she’d intended to smoke with the first person who came out. It was a little less than half a blunt. She used the lighter her dad left for her and lit it taking a few hits from it before holding out her arm and passing it to Scorpius. 

“Do you literally smoke all the time?” He asked taking a hit, then another one. 

“Among other things, but it helps...” she paused her voice shaking, “anxiety, intrusive thoughts.. the like.” 

He passed it back to her, letting his hand graze hers shooting tingles up and down both of their hands, going through their arms.”Being the daughter two thirds of the Golden Trio too much?” he asked her exhaling into the chilly morning breeze. 

The heat was rising in Rose’s cheeks and now she was feeling the effects of the drug of choice; she’d smoked and now she felt like time was slowing down a little, she was also starting to overthink. It wasn’t good. So she was glad when Albus opened the door up stepping sleepily out onto the porch. 

“So three of the seven of us are up... any ideas what we should get ourselves into today?” Albus stretched, hitting an unsuspecting wind chime that was hanging on the porch ledge above him. It shook and rung in Rose’s ear and even Scorpius looked startled and soon enough noises in the house became more prominent. 

“Well that was sure to wake the rest of them up..” Rose grimaced at the noise, “Except maybe Lorcan, and Lysander if he’s just as heavy of a sleeper as his brother.” 

“We could go explore, I thought I saw a pond or lake or something. We could go swimming if it heats up some?” Albus sounded excited. 

Scorpius kept his face turned towards the slightly cloudy sky, which was now a beautiful baby blue rather than the orange glow it had previously been. He had seen her in a bathing suit before, what was the difference now? He needed to stop psyching himself up. 

“That’s a great idea! And even if we don’t swim I’m sure we could take the fishing poles I saw out - I mean I’m sure it can’t be that hard to figure them out right?” 

Rose gave him a puzzled look, “I’m not playing fishing for sport,”

“Who said for sport, we can eat them if they’re big enough!”

Rose turned up her nose, “I’d rather not catch my food...” 

Albus rolled his eyes, “I have to say I’m with Rosie on this one... it sounds boring. James brought that muggle ball didn’t he?” Scorpius asked. 

“You mean the soccer ball or the football?” Rose questioned him, raising a perfect eyebrow. 

“Same thing right?” 

“It depends on what culture you’re talking about. I’m also sure you guys brought broomsticks right?” Rose drifted off, “Right?” 

“James wanted it to be as muggle as possible, I can’t fathom why but he did so no, no brooms.” 

Rose looked at them bewildered, “Well, I mean I guess it’s one way to enjoy a vacation.” 

Before they knew it the rest of the gang filed out of the house, James dragging the most. 

“Who wants to smoke? And maybe take a shot of fire whiskey to get our day started?” James’ eyes were bright as he brought out a bottle and looked at Rose signaling for her to roll one. 

“Alcohol this early, pass - but,” Rose pauses removing a previously rolled blunt out of her cigar holder. “You already know I’m prepared.” She lifted the lighter and sparked it, James took a seat on the bench that connected to the picnic table on the porch. 

The guys passed the fire whiskey bottle around, Rose scrunched her nose. No way. That stuff was too strong and she wasn’t a whiskey type girl. “So are we exploring today? I thought I saw a pond or lake or something - Albus suggested fishing but it seems to be warming up so swimming is an option too!” Rose said excitedly, the blunt had made it’s way to James now and he passed it back to Rose. 

“There’s also plenty of lawn we could definitely play some football.” 

“Is that the white ball you kick? Or the brown weird ball you throw?” Scorpius mused, clearly a little confused. He’d taken muggle studies in his fifth year and they’d discussed football and soccer and he was confused on the whole thing. 

“The white ball you kick.” James told him, clearing up the confusion. 

“How very...muggle.” Robbie piped up.

“This is why no one likes you, Robbie.” Rose jabbed at him with a laugh. 

“You mean why you don’t like me...” he trailed off, “everyone else loves me.” 

Rose rolled her eyes, Robbie wasn’t to bad just a little pig headed and rude. “So soccer first?”

“Football Rose, football. It’s a ball and you kick it with your foot.” James inputted. 

The blunt was basically nothing, and everyone was slowly disappearing inside to change and get ready. Rose who was already dressed stood up to put her cigar case away, Lorcan caught her face in his hands, “Good morning, beautiful.” His lips grazed hers, Rose kissed him back slightly. 

“Good morning love.” She could feel Scorpius’ eyes on them. Making her slightly uncomfortable, it never had before - well before their encounter in the kitchen that is. 

Rose was starting to have second thoughts, she laced on her trainers and put her hair in two braids - the last thing she needed was for her hair to become unruly and tangled in the morning. She looked over herself, second guessing and throwing on a bathing suit under her clothes so she could go swimming if it got to hot. She worked some deep conditioner into her braid so that way it would keep her hair from sun damage a little bit. Oh the joys of natural curly hair. 

When she got outside the guys had found a spot for their “football” game. There was a clearing in a line of trees, she guessed that would be one goal area and the other side was a makeshift goal area made from cornhole pieces that they’d found and dragged over. “Hey James, we have an uneven amount of players. Which team gets the fourth person?” 

“Lysander doesn’t want to play....” 

“I’m not good with my feet, or sports. There’s a reason you guys have all played on the Quidditch team at one point, and I haven’t. I think I’m going to read this book on wildlife my dad sent me.” 

“Fair enough,” Rose shrugged - she’d spent enough time with the Scamander’s to know Lysander was the book worm of the two and quite frankly probably the smartest. It’s why Lily was madly in love with him, he had a calm nature and a knack for learning.

They began their game :Lorcan, Rose and Albus on one team and Scorpius, Robbie and James on the other. They where pretty much neck and neck. Rose was better at this game than she thought she would be, she’d managed to steal the ball from Robbie twice, trip Scorpius with the ball (which may have not been fair game or an accident) and even pelt James in the head as he tried to block her shot at the goal. Ultimately James scored the final goal breaking their tie. 

They where all sweating and Rose suggested a dip in the lake. She took off towards the body of water, it was beautiful. There was a sandy bottom that stretched out for miles. It was hidden behind mostly birch trees, the little opening that Rose has spotted the water through wasn’t anything as beautiful as the full site of the lake. It’s water we’re a beautiful clear jade color, the sun bounced off the water reflecting back against the trees and the honeysuckle that grew in bushes at the bottom. Rose inhaled the smells of the lake and the honeysuckle together, it was an astonishingly breathtaking scene and she figured she would probably spend the majority of her time here. She wanted to go get one of the bottles of wine she saw inside but decided against it, she wanted to swim. She started stripping down, into her light green bathing suit, it was high-waisted and probably a little to cheeky because her butt to waist ratio was off. She simply had more butt to work with than waist. 

She waded out into the water, it wasn’t too cold and she was thankful. It was probably 75 degrees maybe. She could see her feet at the bottom even when she got waist deep. She dove under the water, holding her breath and diving down to see different colored rocks and pebbles. She came back up thankful for the conditioner she’d put in earlier. 

The guys where joining now, apparently playing Marco Polo. She was just enjoying being under the water, she hardly got to swim and was basically in a state of pure bliss. 

They swam their day away, stopping when they realized they’d skipped lunch and we’re all incredibly hungry. 

Rose had gone upstairs and changed almost immediately, letting her hair down and showering off the lake water. She went ahead and put on her tank top and pj pants. She had no plans to leave the safety and comfort of the cabin. Her still wet hair starting to curl back up, the weight of the water pulling on her ringlets. When she got to the kitchen the guys where all surrounding the muggle contraption called a television, skimming channels and trying to find something to occupy their time. Rose pulled out some vegetables out of the fridge, thankfully grandmum Molly had sent them with food because Rose was sure the guys wouldn’t have thought about it. She put a pot on the stove, boiling baby carrots and potatoes.

Finding yellow rice in the bag of goodies they’d yet to unpack she started that as well, rolling her eyes at the guys. They’d starve if they where left to their own devices. She shifted through the bag of food, finding gravy packets to use with the vegetables and rice. Thank Merlin for a fully stocked kitchen with pots and pans. 

It wasn’t long before a meal big enough for a small army was set out. Rose made her and Lorcan’s plate, setting out plates for them to make their own. “I made dinner y’all can fix your own plate.” Rose sat down at the big wooden table, the chairs where super soft and comfy. 

Lorcan sat to her right and Lysander beside him. There was one seat next to her on the left, she wasn’t surprised when Scorpius took the seat. And she wasn’t surprised when she felt his foot touch hers. She shot him daggers with her eyes, a warning kind of, as if to say “Don’t you fucking dare...” 

They ate and finished their food, too hungry to talk, but it was James that finished first and thanked Rose for dinner. He also offered to cook the next night for everyone. And he did the dishes, by magic of course since he was the only one of age. “What happened to doing it muggle?” Albus snickered. 

“That’s too much muggle. No thanks.” He rolled his eyes at his brothers nonsense. 

“Smoke? And maybe a few drinks? Truth or dare? Uno?” 

“Uno? What the bloody hell is that?” Robbie asked spotting it on the bookshelf next to the muggle literature such as Twilight and Nightworld both series’ and a lone book called Invisible Man. 

“Not sure, but we could figure it out.” James snapped, removing a bottle of rum out of the freezer and a bottle of Cupcake Moscato d’Asti for Rose. “I’ve got plenty more of the wine Rosie so don’t worry get lit.” 

Rose hugged James, she couldn’t find this wine anywhere, not just a muggle wine but a wine that was sold in the states. America. And she wasn’t sure how he got ahold of it, because he wasn’t old enough to buy in the states. As if he could read her mind, “Teddy - you know that boy would go anywhere for you, also it helps Victoire loves it too, pretty sure he bought like six cases.” It was an older wine, but it was so buttery. And sweet. Just what she needed. She could tell this was only just the beginning.


	6. Chapter 6

After a few rounds of drunken Uno, taking a shot anytime anyone used a draw four or reverse or skip card it was safe to say almost everyone was super fucked up. Rose was hungry, but Lorcan needed help down the stairs to get to bed. Scorpius, who was conveniently rooming downstairs also, decided to help. He was basically black out drunk, he had sat in-between Rose and Scorpius so Scorpius was sending him all of the specialty cards, and Rose had wondered if he had maybe done it on purpose. 

Once they got Lorcan tucked in Rose flipped off the light and went to sit out in the living room space on the bottom floor. She giggled a little, hiccuping. No where near blackout, but definitely a whole bottle of wine gone. “I didn’t mean to get him that wasted by the way. I guess luck would have it.” He shrugged, falling into the floor. Landing right beside her, “I also feel like you’re half sober.” He said, reaching his hand into the air and letting it drop.

“Malfoy, do you really think we need to be alone together?” The words came out before she could stop them - this is why Rose doesn’t get fucked up- even slightly! 

That was the wrong word choice apparently, because he moved on top of her, not letting any of his weight fall on her. He was boxing her in with his arms, “Also, maybe I did it because I didn’t want to hear him make you moan again tonight. If he’s knocked out he can’t.” His eyes boar into hers, she felt warmth radiating from between them. 

“Malfoy, get off.” She whispered, trying not to alert anyone that could still be up.

He smirked down at her, “If...” he paused, bringing his body closer to hers “you wanted me off of you - you’d scream.” 

Rose closed her eyes and breathed out. “Malfoy I mean it, anyone could come down here.” 

“Then let’s go to my room..” 

“What in the hell makes you think I’m going to go to your room with you.” Rose sniped back at him, clearly flustered. 

Truth was she wasn’t thinking straight, and he could probably pressure her into it. She just wasn’t trying to be that weak. She didn’t need him, she loved Lorcan. But yet here she was, trapped under the other blonde she couldn’t get out of her head. And when his lips crashed down on her she felt her body react to his, kissing him back. Wrapping her arms around his neck so she could deepen the kiss. It was when he picked her up by her thighs that she gasped, “We can’t.. we can’t.. someone will find out.” He covered her mouth with his.

“Just hush, we don’t have to have sex Rosie, I’m better than that, you’re drunk. I just want some fun while we have the opportunity.” He paused to throw her onto his bed. “To show you what you’re missing out on baby girl.” 

Rose shuddered as he grabbed at her wrists and pinned her down. Kissing her neck, careful not to leave any marks behind. He came up towards her ear, “What did you expect to happen? We’d just forget about how we feel?” He nipped at her ear before placing more kisses on her neck. 

“So if I say stop, you’ll stop?” Rose asked, looking up at him resisting the urge to fight back because his grip on her wrists was strong. 

“Of course, this is all you,” his lips turned towards her collar bone, and kept going down, meeting the fabric of her nightshirt. “You can tell me to stop at any time.” He released her hands, only to have his right hand trail up her bare stomach. 

Her breath caught as he brushed over her nipple, he stopped - didn’t remove his hand but stopped. “You okay?” 

Rose lifted up to meet his face, her lips meeting his. She only broke the kiss to hang her head back when he squeezed her in his hand, a small moan escaping her mouth. He immediately slapped his hand over her mouth, “Do you want to get fucking caught?” He whispered, noticing how she squirmed underneath him. 

Her hips rose up to meet his own, she couldn’t help how she was feeling, he turned her on. “Ohh, have I found a kink babygirl?” He whispered in her ear, kissing her neck. He could have sworn he heard her whimper. 

“I’m going to remove my hand so be quiet.” He warned, his eyes dangerous. 

His fingers stroked the inside of her thigh, although it was covered by her pajama pants. It still made her jump at his touch. He started getting closer, she was so thankful that she didn’t wear shorts but starting cursing herself when he started pulling them down. His fingers grazed over her mound, finding her clit and rubbing. “Malfoy... we can’t.” 

He grinned at her, “Can’t means you don’t want too, do you want me to stop?” 

That was the problem she didn’t want him to stop, she wanted him. He actually stopped everything he was doing, since she hadn’t offered. “Rosie?” He nuzzled into her neck. 

“I don’t want you to stop.” She told him, her cheeks red with embarrassment and also with lust, she drug her nails across his back. 

“Watch out with marking me up, you’re the only girl here...” he grabbed her arm and pinned it to her side, getting a little more rough. 

He slipped his hand into her underwear, feeling how wet she was. He decided to say what he’d been feeling since last night. “If we could be loud I’d have you screaming louder than you where last night.” Rose flushed. 

“You.. you heard that?” She tried to hide her face, even more embarrassed. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he hadn’t put a finger in her yet, but he was about too since she hadn’t stopped him. “Rose?” He paused before pressing into her, she bit her lip and met his eyes before pushing into him. Her hands were on his pants, pulling them down. 

He wasn’t so sure she’d even go through with it at first. Now he knew for certain. She rocked on his fingers, she was shaking. “Malfoy, I -“ he put a finger over her mouth. 

“My first name Rose.” 

“Scorpius I need you.”

“What do you need?” He withdrew his fingers.

“I need you.” 

“Be more specific. What do you need Rosie?” His voice was like honey. 

She trembled, “I need you inside me now.” He smirked at her words. 

“Are you sure you need me, watch what you say... might come back to haunt you.” He flipped Rose over onto her belly. 

He lined himself up with her before sliding in slowly. He was big, thick. Rose kept her face buried in his pillows muffling any sounds that escaped her. 

“Can I cum inside of you?” He growled in her ear, attacking her neck as he pounded into her, the question enough made her clench around him and release. 

“Absolutely not.”

“Your wet enough I could probably just stick the tip in and cum in you there.” He bit down on her shoulder. “Do you trust me, babygirl?”

Rose couldn’t talk due to how rough he was being. She was in a state of bliss. She’s already had her release several times. “Not really... but do it.” 

“So willing to submit already?” He chuckled placing his thumb in her “Relax,” he was opening her up. He slowed down with his thrusts, focusing on making sure she was ready. “Rosie,” He removed his thumb, and slid the tip of his cock in her arse, it was almost immediately filled with warm sticky cum. He slid out not trying to go further in. 

Rose turned towards him, “What did I just do...” Rose hit her head with her hand. “What did you just do?! He’s one of your best friends!” 

“Do you wanna tell him?” He asked her, his jaw line quivering. 

“No, not now...” he sighed in relief. 

They were quiet for a minute, before Scorpius looked at her, “You like being submissive.”

“Don’t you dare use that on me.” 

“Can not make that promise.” He smirked at her, “but seriously we can’t sneak around - tell him.” 

Rose set up, pulling her pants on and fixing her shirt. “I’m gonna go to bed now.” 

“Might wanna go clean yourself up before you get in bed with him for the night.” He chuckled at the thought. 

He was right and she was shaking. She felt nauseous like she was going to throw up. “Hey,” He was up and beside her in two strides. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell him.” He steadied her hands, and placed a hand on her cheek. “Breathe babygirl.” She let a tear run down her face and he couldn’t help but pull her into an embrace. 

The light clicked on in the hallway, or the bathroom, casting a shadow under his door. Rose got goosebumps, and shifted uncomfortably in his arms. They waited for the light to flick back off and a good amount of time before Rose left his room. Heading straight to the bathroom. She closed the door and locked it, giving herself a soapy scrub and pouring conditioner into her matted up curls. She scrubbed her face with hot water, and let a few tears come down. Fuck. How could she do this to him? Let alone with him? 

She dried off, still shaky. Wrapping the oversized towel around her, she stepped out of the bathroom. “Rose.Alivia.Weasley.” 

She tried to remain calm, after all Albus called her out by her full name for lots of reasons. “Please tell me you didn’t come out of Scorpius’ room.” Rose’s face shifted. 

“Why would you think that?” 

Albus got even closer to her so she had to strain to hear his whisper “Breathe babygirl.” Rose could tell by his voice he was angry and kind of disgusted. “He doesn’t call you babygirl. He calls you Weasley,” he stepped back a little bit. “Tell me nothing happened in there?” 

“Nothing- nothing happened in there Al,” he rolled her eyes and cut her off. 

“Then what don’t you have to tell him?” Fuck. Albus. 

“I - Albus please..” His green eyes flashed at his cousins hazel ones his lips pressing into a hard line. He already knew. 

“Don’t make the same mistake twice, you and Lorcan...you’re perfect.” He gave her a sad smile, and it made her insides hurt more. She wanted to put her fist through the wall, much like Scorpius had done in the kitchens. Instead, Rose went inside and got dressed in a pair of shorts and a big tee shirt. Maybe she’d wake up and it wouldn’t have happened. One could only hope. It was already three am and she would be up at six at the latest. She couldn’t sleep, that would be basically impossible at this point. Sleep found her somewhere in the early hours.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned in the tags - this chapter has violence, hints of sexual assault and drug use aside from just pot. Consider this a warning, there may be triggers. Also don’t do drugs.

Her head hurt, it hurt more than normal. Wine headaches were always pounding. She looked down at Lorcan, his blonde hair falling over his closed eyes that radiated a big beautiful blue normally. She was studying his face, in a state of rest he was beautiful. Her stomach pain came back, and settled in her throat. It was anxiety. His arm settled on her waist. “This is what being a shit human feels like.” Rose thought to herself. Unsettled. She looked at the clock 8am - she closed her eyes, not yet. 

She must have drifted asleep again because a knock came on their bedroom door around 1:30pm “Guys wake up!” It was James, and she knew for sure she was about to bang on the door. 

“I’m awake James, give me a minute I’ll wake up Lor.” She called through the door, slipping on a pair of yoga pants and keeping her baggy shirt on. Tying her mess of curls in a bun. Then rethinking it, just letting it set freely and do whatever. The hair tie was making her headache worse anyway. 

“Lor!” Rose called, coming over to shake him slightly. 

“Baby, I don’t wanna get up....” he puppy dog faced her, grabbing her hand. 

“James wants us all up.. its like 1:30.” 

“Ughjsjdkej” his voice was inaudible, “Fine...” he brushed back her hair from her face and put his hand on her cheek. 

“You where black out last night,” Rose smiled before continuing “bet you don’t feel so good.” 

He grimaced “Not really..” he looked a little green around his mouth 

“I’m gonna make you some toast, get you some orange juice, just be down in a little bit.” She kissed his forehead before ascending up the stairs. 

She watched Scorpius’ eyes follow her and she came into view. He was sitting next to Albus at the table. 

Albus of course noticed his eyes, “Malfoy,” he spoke extra quietly. “Keep your eyes off my cousin.” Rose was closer to the table than anyone else and even she didn’t hear it. She’d seen his lips move slightly. And saw Scorpius tense up, Rose skipped the table and went to the kitchen. She’d already found toast and butter sitting out. The orange juice was in the fridge so she poured two glasses - one for her and one for Lorcan. 

“Good morning sunshine.” James ruffled her hair grinning. 

“You know James, you really shouldn’t be so cheerful with a hangover.” He smirked at her words, pulling out a bottle of vodka and taking a swig. “And you’re still drinking!”

“No time for a hangover,” he shrugged, “Go get Lorcan and let’s smoke.” 

Rose had been focused on James and food and hadn’t even realized Scorpius and Albus had gone outside. Her heart sank, but she didn’t waver in demeanor. She took a deep breath and headed downstairs to get Lorcan and make sure he actually woke up. 

On the porch, Albus was staring daggers at Scorpius. “She was drunk Scor, what the fuck?” He whispered, in case someone was to come out. 

“She told you?”

“I saw her come out of your room, go straight to the shower.” 

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Scorpius looked nervous. 

“Calling her babygirl?” 

“How much did you hear?” He growled. 

“Enough to know you guys made a mistake.” Albus’ green eyes where dark green with anger. “If so much as see you look her direction I’m going to beat the bloody hell out of you, then I’m going to let Lorcan.” 

Albus Potter was scary, he had the Weasley temper and he wasn’t afraid to let it show. It wasn’t anything Scorpius had witnessed first hand. “Like you said it was a mistake,” Scorpius held his gaze “It’s not going to happen again.”

He paused for a minute, “Al - we were gonna trip tonight on x, so if I talk to her maybe her and him...”

“If you think that’s a good idea, you forget the fact that Lorcan is the most aggressive of the twins. Don’t start a scene.” Scorpius huffed, defeated. 

“Sit down, they’re all coming out to smoke.” Scorpius sat beside Albus in the corner. 

He wasn’t focused on much, keeping his head down and his eyes closed, Albus poking him to hit the blunt. He did look up, everyone looked similar. No doubt hung over as well. He caught site of Lorcan and instantly felt bad, that was his best friend - they shared everything and although they weren’t as close as some he knew he could go to Lorcan for anything. He really fucked that up didn’t he. He stole a glance at Rose, she looked tired. Her eyes met his as she inhaled and exhaled. 

“Anyone vote for a lazy day?” 

“I could use more sleep...” Rose rubbed her head. 

“I second that,” Lorcan grinned and winked at Rose. Scorpius’ stomach hurt. 

When everyone went inside but Albus stayed behind and grabbed Scorpius’ arm. “Don’t. I mean it.” Scorpius ripped his arm away from Albus. 

“I know I fucked up, leave it alone.” 

He watched Rose and Lorcan head downstairs, his stomach in knots. He didn’t realize this would happen, that they’d both feel shitty. Rose cried after and Rose didn’t cry often. 

Lorcan laid down on the bed they shared, pulling Rose on top of him. “Lor... I don’t feel good.” She rolled off of him, running her fingers through his hair. “Can we just cuddle?” She nuzzled into his chest and fell asleep soon after. At least if she was asleep she didn’t have to think about anything. 

There was a knock on the door, it was James. Holding out little things of crystal like things wrapped in what looked like toilet paper.”Come down and party, we’ve got a pole!” Rose had forgotten about that, “Although we locked the alcohol up for tonight, because we need everyone hydrated while we trip.” 

Rose’s heart stung a bit, “I don’t know... I’m down to come watch everyone act stupid-“ James held up his hand. 

“Don’t be a pussy. This is gonna let us all connect on a spiritual level if we let it.” 

Rose wasn’t sure that’s how it worked, it was a love drug. It made everyone feel love on a much deeper level. Rose took one of them and Lorcan took the second one. James watched her take it, “Go upstairs and get something to drink so you’re not dehydrated.” 

The three of them went upstairs, the rest of the group was chilling on the couch except for Albus who was playing on the pole they had installed - “and you guys where serious....” she laughed shaking her head and heading over to the fridge for some juice and a bottle of water. Her skin was chilly. 

“I should probably tell you that this is encrypted with magic and everyone who’s in contact with each other will be able to feel emotions and depending on the level of relationship it could get deeper.” Scorpius whispered to her. 

Her eyes flashed dangerously, “Even if I threw it up now it’s still gonna be in my system isn’t it.” Scorpius nodded his knuckles pale. 

“Hope your ready for everyone to know.” Albus smirked, she couldn’t tell if it was aimed at her or him. 

Rose breathed out - chugging a bottle of water. Bringing one back for Lorcan who was sitting by his brother. People still got them mixed up, but Rose knew Lysander had a freckle in the middle of his forehead. Rose went outside and sat on the porch, she wasn’t sure how long she was outside but she was becoming more aware of the feel of things. The way the breeze felt on her skin, the way the stars lit up the sky. She’d really slept all day, and she still felt like ass. 

“Rose...” It was Albus. 

“Yeah Al?” 

“You okay?” Rose felt his words. 

“I don’t really know..” she felt nauseous and his hand was on her shoulder. 

“You wanna go for a walk? Get away from everyone for a minute? They’re all vibing.” Rose could hear the music. 

“You wanna talk about last night.” Rose stated, she didn’t have shoes on but didn’t really want to go in to get them. She stood up barefeet and all and walked into the yard. 

In the house, James was playing on the pole - feeling the music vibrations. The twins where placing their hands against each other’s - thinking of colors and trying to transmit them to each other. Scorpius was laying in the corner breathing in and out, rubbing his hands on the grey carpet. He sat up when he heard James thump onto the floor. “You good mate?” He asked him, James just lay in the floor. He heard Robbie laugh, he’d had his face in a book most of the night. 

“That’s a dangerous fitness regimen, mate.” Robbie spoke softly. “I’m getting really tired of feeling pages of a book, who wants some fresh air?” 

The twins looked up, “We could definitely go outside, we could play pass the number or pass the color.” Lysander looked ecstatic about the idea. 

Scorpius was just going with the flow, James was jumping around on the pole, and he finally followed them outside into the night. 

Rose and Albus sat by the water, “So you guys have had interactions before last night...” 

“You know how I haven’t really been around...” she let her mind wander back to the night  
of the party. 

“The party..” he sighed, “what happened?” 

“Nothing actually happened at the party but that was the beginning. We - umm, he - we kissed in the kitchens. And I just couldn’t...” 

“You did more than kiss last night.” Albus spoke quietly, feeling her guilt radiate through him. He looked over at her, her gaze was fixed on the stars. 

“Yeah...” she heard footsteps, multiple people footsteps. 

“We found you!” James exclaimed, a goofy look on his face. 

“I guess we all had the same idea, the grass feels great.” Rose said laying back making fists in the grass. Exhaling deeply. 

They all ended up laying in the grass. Rose’s guilt and worry washed away slowly, she was focusing on the stars. There was energy from every angle around her, loving energy. This group was all love, they had nothing but love for each other. Even Robbie was sending off good vibes and pink energy. Lorcan set up after awhile, “Walk with me Rose?” Her stomach dropped and Scorpius glanced at her as if he could feel her energy specifically. 

Rose tried her best to smile and Lorcan’s face was hardened a little bit, Albus narrowed his eyes at Scorpius’ threatening him. Rose was uneasy, but she tried to push it down and not out. 

They walked in silence. Far enough away from the group. His intense emotions ran through her, and she knew hers where doing the same. “Rose, talk to me.” 

She couldn’t. “About?” 

“About the feelings you’re having... what happened?” 

“I- Lor-,” he cut her off, creating an energy that scared her.

“Just tell me what happened, don’t lie to me,” He paused picking up on her feelings, “Merlin Rose I’m not going to hurt you. Or him.” 

Rose’s head snapped up, “What do you mean or him?” 

“Scorpius has been feeling guilty since in the house, the same guilt that’s rolling off of you.” His eyes looked dangerous, his pupils blown. 

“Not to mention Al, he’s covering something up - which makes me question what he knows but I’d rather come to you.” His hands went into his pockets, Rose wondered if it was to keep from hitting her. 

“Your energy gives you away Rosie,” He removed his hands from his pockets, fidgeting slightly. He took a step towards her, her back hit a tree trunk. “Tell me what you did.” 

“If you can feel it you already know.” Rose whispered, a tear coming down her cheek and running down her throat. 

His hand wiped the wetness away from her throat, finally putting his hand around her throat not hurting her, but showing a sign of dominance. 

“Now tell me,” He was up against her, Rose felt herself whimper. 

“Lorcan... I can’t tell you.”

“Why? Are you ashamed?” He asked his face centimeters from her, she nodded at him. 

“Hey! Let go of her!” Scorpius’ voice came through the silence. 

“You know just as well as I do that she likes it.” Lorcan spat at Scorpius. 

Scorpius stopped in his tracks, glad that no one had followed him. “Lorcan....” 

Rose closed her eyes, her pulse against his hand at her neck. She pushed out an image of the previous night. Immediately regretting it when his hand tightened on her. “I could kill both of you.” He whispered in her ear. 

Scorpius was beside him, “Hey, why don’t we all just sit down and talk?” Lorcan squeezed her neck one more time, a little harder than normal - causing her to let out a small moan of pain. Rose squeezed her eyes closed and whimpered before he finally let go of her throat. 

“Lorcan, let me show you what I mean.” Scorpius stepped forward not daring to touch him yet. 

Rose looked between them, tears falling down her cheeks. She could feel the anger rolling off of Lorcan and the uneasy energy coming off of Scorpius. “This could be the one time we’re able too.” He was begging. Scorpius Malfoy, was begging. Rose wasn’t sure if he was doing it for her, or for himself. 

Lorcan looked disgruntled, before sitting down on the damp grass. “Sit Rose.” Rose obeyed immediately and sat to the side of them. 

Scorpius sat facing Lorcan. He held out his hand, and Lorcan looked like he wanted to break his nose. The magical compound mixed in with the drug radiating between them. Lorcan touched his hand, resisting the urge to pull away. Rose wasn’t sure what he was showing him, but whatever it was made Lorcan soften his face. Rose sat, feeling a loving energy around her. She wasn’t as uneasy. And almost at the same time, they grabbed one of her hands. It was almost a shock, she wanted to pull away but couldn’t. It was the same energy from both of them. Then the anger from Lorcan washed over her, which she felt turn to sadness and then love again. She was confused, she felt love for them both.

It was Lorcan who spoke first, “Show me what happened last night...” he looked at Scorpius. 

“Lorcan - I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Rose squeezed his hand, trying to send reassuring vibes. 

“Scorpius, please.” He spoke to him alone, “I can handle it.” 

Rose looked at Scorpius, giving him the go ahead - her hand shaking in both of theirs. Rose closed her eyes, and almost immediately they where transferred back to the living room on the bottom floor. Him carrying her to his room, the multiple kisses. Each orgasm wave she experienced, and his orgasm which she was more embarrassed about. Then finally her breaking down after. 

Lorcan turned his head toward her, his eyes on her - focused she could feel his hatred for both of them underneath the layer of love and heartbreak. It was Rose’s turn. She sent him(both of them really) nausea, anxiety. The way she scrubbed at her skin with hot water after, how Albus called her out and the anxiety she felt even laying next to him. His hard features softened at how she felt. A tear fell down her face, and Scorpius raised his hand to wipe it. “I’m sorry... I didn’t think-,” 

“You never do...” Rose cut him off. 

“Rose has anything else happened?” Lorcan asked, seeing the flash in her head. “You might as well spill everything. You two already fucked.” 

“We urm, kissed in the kitchens at Hogwarts once, but that’s it.” 

“I’m sorry mate,” Lorcan wasn’t a bad guy and his energy put that out there. But Scorpius crossed a line, and that line let his fist slam into Scorpius’ face - his strong quidditch arms knocked him out the first hit. He hit him again. This time there was blood, he hit him a third time. And Rose grabbed him before he could hit him a fourth time. 

“Lor, don’t!” There was blood on his hand, and Scorpius was unconscious. 

Lorcan turned to her, his blue eyes almost completely black. “Don’t make me take this out on you.” He was seeing red and it was radiating through her as well. 

“Maybe you need too.” She gulped, letting go of his arm which was the wrong thing to do because his hand was back around her throat. The blood smearing on her neck. 

“You’re a whore,” he whispered to her, knowing it would provoke her. 

“Lor.. please..” 

“I bet you’re wet too,” Rose exhaled at his whisper - whimpering. She knew the drug heightened physical want. 

His other hand traveled down into her yoga pants. Even as she was pulling away, “Lorcan please don’t - do this when we’re sober. More logical.” He was right she was wet. 

He groaned, tightening his hand on her throat. Cutting off her air for a second until she was gasping. “If I do it sober it won’t be as nice.” But he removed his hands from her completely. Leaving a bloody mark on her neck. She heard the warning in his voice. She was a liar if she said it didn’t excite her. “Don’t follow me.” He spat at her. 

Rose went back inside the house, she couldn’t drag him in the house if she wanted too. But she could clean him up, and get the blood off her neck. Albus was inside, so were the others. But only Albus noticed her, she moved her hair in front of her neck and hoped she could make it to the bathroom. Albus caught her arm and pulled her back. “What happened?!” 

“Lorcan happened....” she started washing it off of her, only to see a handprint around her neck that she hoped wouldn’t bruise. 

She got a wet wash cloth and another dry one. “I’m fine... it’s Scorpius that’s bloody. If we could distract them to get him inside.” 

“Al, he made us show him what happened.” She was shaking and her face was green. 

“You need water.” His face was openly distraught. “That wasn’t even the peak... were only three hours in.” He left her for a second to clean up and use the bathroom. He met her at the door. 

“James,” he spoke to his older brother. “Can you help me with something? Robbie and Ly can you guys go find Lorcan? The peak is coming up and we all need to be inside.” 

Lysander’s eyes narrowed on Rose’s neck, he could see the red marks but held his tongue - she was certain he’d ask about it later. She pushed forward out the door, her head level currently. She kneeled by Scorpius and cleaned him up, trying to get as much blood off of him as possible. James looked at him, then at Rose. “What happened...?”

“You’ll know soon enough....” Rose whispered as Scorpius began to wake up. 

James pointed his wand at his face. “No, don’t fix it... I deserved it.” James face scrunched up, confused. 

“Malfoy you didn’t..” he looked at Rose, “Rose Alivia! Tell me you didn’t.” 

“We did.” James exhaled at her words. 

“Oh shit.” 

“Spare me James, I’ve got it coming to me later.” Rose crossed her arms over her chest. 

Scorpius looked at her, a little fearful. “Rose, you can have my room I’ll sleep on the couch in the living room.” 

“It’s okay, I deserve whatever he does to me.” Scorpius looked at her, concerned. “He wouldn’t actually hurt me Scor.” 

“You felt his anger, you felt what he was feeling.” 

“Stop.” Rose said calmly. She knew what he was capable of, she’d been with him much to long to not know what he was capable of. 

“Come on let’s get inside before this next wave hits. We can watch a movie or do some meditations.” James, the voice of reason. 

James and Albus helped the dizzy Scorpius to the house. Lorcan snorted whenever he entered the house. And his eyes fell on Rose, it was an odd your next stare. Scorpius sat on the couch, putting his feet up and laying back. 

Lorcan stood up, a little more calm. He held out his hand to Rose. She took it despite the eyes of Albus, James and Lysander following her. Lysander’s eyes went to Scorpius who was breathing heavily. His nose was broken and it needed to be popped back in place and Lysander decided to do it, the muggle way since he wouldn’t let James fix it with magic. All Rose heard was a loud “FUCK!” And a loud snap. 

Lorcan closed the door of their room. “Give me one reason I shouldn’t treat you like the whore you are.” 

“Because we’re not doing this anymore Lor,” she blinked away tears. 

His lips crashed on hers, “Yes we are,” He whispered in between kisses. 

“Sex doesn’t fix everything,” she pushed him away a little. “Lorcan seriously! Stop!” 

“Now how hard was that?” He was angry and sounded spiteful. 

“Lorcan please... you have to understand.” 

“Understand that you fucked him in the room next to this one, or he fucked you - babygirl.” 

Rose closed her eyes. Silence falling over her. “You don’t have anything to say,” he paced in front of her, “You know I could really fuck you up Rose.” He stopped, getting closer to her. 

“Only I would start at your ass,” He grabbed her, “since your willing to let him cum in you there you should have no issues taking me.” 

“Lorcan, think about what you’re saying,” her eyes begged him “please.” 

“I have thought about it.” He was so close to her, she was a little scared. 

“And I’m not going too, but just know it crossed my mind.” Rose let out a shaky breath as he looked at her neck. “I’m sorry I bruised you.” He pulled her into a hug.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the MMF comes into play, please remember the drug is magically enhanced and this is very important for this specific chapter.

She heard Scorpius’ door shut, and everything was starting to wave, not her vision but energies. It made her dizzy. “Lor?” 

He was calm, “Yes love?” He pulled her to the bed to lay down.

“I feel... everything.” She put her hand over her eyes but it didn’t stop the color from swirling around her. 

“Wait until you start hearing it....” Scorpius’ voice echoed in her head and apparently in Lorcan’s. 

Lorcan got up, Rose’s eyes watching him. He went to knock on Scorpius’ door, but Scorpius opened it before he got the chance. “Come on,” Rose heard him murmur holding open the door. Rose lifted her eyebrows confused. 

Scorpius looked a little apprehensive, “You’re worried about her so lay down with us.” Lorcan looked at him, gesturing to the bed. 

Rose and Scorpius looked at him before exchanging glances. “Before I change my mind.” Lorcan growled. 

Scorpius crawled onto the bed, situating himself on Rose’s right side, Lorcan laying on her left. Rose’s hands searched for theirs. Making contact and sending sparks that they all felt. Lorcan kissed her lips lightly pulling away, Rose looked at him as if asking permission for something. He nodded, keeping his hand in hers and when she turned to Scorpius his lips met hers. A small amount of jealous energy sprung through Lorcan. Scorpius picked up on it and stopped, squeezing Rose’s hand slightly. Lorcan grabbed her face forcefully, pulling her into a kiss and onto her side. Scorpius let go of her hand and shifted against her, cradling her back, his lips pressing to her neck. He didn’t care about not leaving marks this time. He kissed down to her shoulder, biting. Her energy was radiating anxiety. “Don’t think about it Rosie, just go with it.” Lorcan told her, planting kisses on her lips. 

Scorpius looked at Lorcan, “Are you sure?” Rose wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or Lorcan. 

Lorcan pushed her pants down to show a silky green pair of underwear. Rose froze, this time it was Scorpius who spoke in her ear. “Hey babygirl, it’s okay. We’ll be easy.” 

“Speak for yourself,” he snarled at him.  
Rose narrowed her eyes, “Oh, don’t look at me like that Princess.” Lorcan looked at Scorpius, if he was gonna call her a pet name so would he. 

It dawned on Rose that he was only allowing this to happen to see which one was more dominant. “Wrong Princess,” He pulled her up on top of him - “if you’re gonna be a whore you might as well do it right.” His words cut a little bit, and then he pushed her down to his waist. “Suck.” He told her, she pulled him out and took the length of him into his mouth. 

Scorpius watched for a second, “Up on your knees,” Lorcan told her, Scorpius realized it gave him perfect access. 

He dragged his hand down her side and let it come down her back and fall between her legs. She made a muffled sound as he slammed into her throat. Scorpius knew she was already wet, he could see it on her underwear. He rubbed at her clit and then ran his hands up to take them off, he was already hard and she pushed herself back more. “Be patient babygirl.” At Scorpius’ words Lorcan grabbed ahold of her hair pushing her down further. 

He put a finger in, then two working at her, she was more than ready. He removed them and teased her by running his length along her clit, before pushing into her fully. He quickened the pace, slowing every once in awhile. 

“Rosie, Princess I need you to pick which hole we get to cum in -“ Lorcan spoke to her, as Scorpius pushed a thumb into her arse, he lifted her head off of him to hear the moan that escaped out of her mouth. 

“Wait, what?” 

“You heard me, which one gets to cum in your ass and which one gets to cum in your pussy.” He was really leaving it up to her, this was a test. 

Scorpius plunged two fingers into her backside as he plowed into her, then a third. She was about to cum on him, and Lorcan yanked her by her hair “Oh no, you don’t get to do that yet. Now tell me where I’m going.”

Rose’s eyes widened and sank down onto him, he pulled her down leaving her backside open for Scorpius. She felt full, too full. She moaned a little, almost loudly. “Rose, you can’t make noise.” Scorpius pushed in and slapped his hand over mouth, silencing a moan, but in doing so meant he was in all the way. 

Lorcan pulled all the way out and slammed it back in, causing more noise to escape her mouth. Lorcan grabbed her throat which was slightly bruised from earlier. Rose stopped making noise. Her body shaking, he let go of her throat. Grabbing her hips and pushing faster into them. Scorpius never let up either, he really hoped he wasn’t hurting her. Rose gave him a look, he’d seen that look right before she came last night. She was tightening around both of them. Her body shaking, “Hold on Princess,” he was so close and so was Scorpius. They were timing it perfectly at this point, Scorpius gripped her tight and shoved into her as deep as he could, making small thrusts as he emptied into her. Under her, Lorcan shoved deep into her and she felt him shake. He’d never came in her before and she wasn’t on birth control. She could have James do a contraceptive spell on her in the morning, but that would be an awkward conversation. 

Scorpius rolled over, grabbing his wand and cleaning himself up, Rose lifted herself off and fell weakly between them. Scorpius aimed his wand at her and cleaned her up. 

Lorcan cleaned himself up, and then pointed his wand at her. He muttered a contraceptive charm at her stomach and laid back down. 

“Wait you guys have been using magic?!” Rose huffed at them. 

“How do you feel?” Scorpius whispered in her ear, meeting eyes with Lorcan who was smirking about the magic comment. 

“Like I can’t move...” Rose’s word we’re muffled by the pillow. 

Lorcan smirked and he high-fived Scorpius over her, “You guys are bloody ridiculous.” 

Their energy was all one color. “Where does this put us?” Scorpius’ voice echoed in their heads.

“I’m not sure to be honest,” Rose answered him. 

“We could try to be like - together.” Lorcan looked at them. 

“No offense but that’s not something I think I can handle all the time.” They both looked at her, Scorpius smirked, but it Lorcan that spoke up, “Liar. You enjoyed it, Princess.” 

“He’s not wrong babygirl.” Scorpius pressed a kiss to her hair. 

“This is weird, I’m never doing drugs again.” Rose groaned out loud. 

“Wanna smoke?” She could even identify the tease in her head. 

“I can’t even get up!” Rose whined and let a whimper escape out of her mouth. 

“Can’t means you don’t want too.”


	9. Chapter 9

At some point in the night they’d managed to fall asleep. Simply feeling each other’s energies and the way Lorcan’s heart beat against her ear and the way Scorpius breath tickled the back of her neck - he would occasionally kiss her shoulder. Rose felt like it was a weird dream she’d been having. 

Her eyes fluttered open, sure enough it hadn’t been a dream. She looked up at Lorcan who was out cold, she felt fingers tap at her waist. Scorpius. He pressed kisses too her shoulder working his way up to her neck, smiling against her skin whenever she pushed forward giving him access to her lips. He looked at Lorcan unsure if he would be okay with it, before touching her lips softly with his own. It was a light kiss that made Rose smile. “Last night was strange.” she spoke under her breath. 

“You’re telling me...” Lorcan pulled her leg up onto him, she could feel Scorpius shift so there was no space between them. He was just as possessive as Lorcan was of her. And when she flinched in pain he frowned, pressing a delicate kiss to her back. 

“So, are we...” Rose looked up at Lorcan before finishing her sentence, “doing this?” 

He looked over at Scorpius, “Well he obviously fucking loves you like a damn puppy dog.” 

Scorpius rolled his eyes at him brushing her hair off her neck, noticing the finger mark bruises. “Lorcan how hard did you grab her last night?”

Lorcan bit his lip surveying the damage. It was a little darker than it had been last night. “Actually that didn’t happen during sex. It happened outside... after he beat the shit out of you.” Scorpius’ eyes burned a little at Rose’s calm words. Noticing the look in his eyes she shrugged it all off, “We deserved it dude...” 

Lorcan looked down at her. “Princess, I didn’t mean to actually hurt you.” 

“Like you said, I liked it.” Rose sighed nuzzling into him. 

Scorpius gripped her harder, he would talk to her about that alone. Lorcan’s eyes flashed at the expression on Scorpius’ face. Scorpius knew he wasn’t a terrible person, they’d grown up together. He just never saw him get so possessive before. At least he was in good company. 

Lorcan felt bad, he hadn’t meant to lose control. She was his, or well she had been his. Somehow, he was sharing her with one of his best mates - he minded but he didn’t really want to lose her to him. At least this way she was still his - if you could say that. 

“So if we’re together does it always have to be like that,” she hesitated “because that was a lot.” 

“I’ll think about it,” Lorcan was waiting for that one, he knew she’d ask eventually. He just wasn’t so keen on the idea now that he was sober. 

Scorpius didn’t really want to share her, but he knew she’d never leave Lorcan for him. Not in a million years. He took the opportunity, and would as long as it presented itself he’d continue to do so. Lorcan and him had been close since halfway through first year, he was always fully supportive of Rose and Lorcan’s relationship since day one. They where basically perfect for each other, but he wanted her and something about the auburn haired witch made him lose his mind, but he wouldn’t ever say that. He’d shown Lorcan how he felt last night, and he was convinced that was the only reason he’d been asked to join. Rose looked shocked so she couldn’t have mentioned it - she would have been scared too. 

Scorpius frowned a little, rubbing her lower back. He needed to talk to him alone, their judgement was clouded when she was around. They wouldn’t make the best decision, either of them. He wasn’t sure either would want to share. Then he figured Rose wouldn’t stop seeing him regardless, the thought brought a smugness to him. 

Rose relaxed more, Scorpius’ hand on her back made her feel safe. He was rubbing the pain out of her hips, he was a saint in her eyes. She was falling back asleep at his touch. Lorcan kissed the top of her head, smelling her hair that was knotted from him earlier. 

“You can’t use Princess if we do this, that’s mine.” Lorcan whispered when he was sure she’d fallen asleep. 

“And you can’t use babygirl, that’s mine.” Scorpius smirked at him, continuing to rub her back. 

“I don’t like the idea of you two alone.” He was up front about it. 

“I already know that,” Scorpius kissed her shoulder, “but I also know she’s not going to go for a threesome all the time.” 

“Give me one reason I should let you guys.” Lorcan narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Well, unfortunately I doubt she’d listen to you anyway-“ 

“She’ll listen.” It sounded like a threat. 

“She didn’t listen the other night.” Scorpius said plainly meeting Lorcan’s glare with his own. 

Scorpius kissed her cheek before getting out of the bed and pulling on his clothes. “When you wanna talk Scamander, come find me.” He closed the door before Lorcan could say anything back, or even register he’d used his last name in anger. 

Rose lifted her head, and he trapped her in a kiss, his hands roaming all over her. “Lor - I’m sore...” she whimpered, not feeling it.

Rose wanted to put on her clothes and get ready for the day, but she needed a shower and that involved getting up and she didn’t know how that would feel. She hurt. She wanted Scorpius’ hands back on her again. Craved it. 

“So how do you feel?” She questioned Lorcan, who was staring at the ceiling his arm wrapped loosely around her. 

“I think you may need to weigh out your options some more honestly. I’m willing to do the whole sharing thing but I don’t how you expect to get away with it - were both,” a pause in his sentence, “needy. Maybe If you hadn’t of slept with my best mate before our little shenanigans last night it’d be different...” he trailed off, squeezing her arse knowing it hurt the most. Rose knew it best to stay quiet, “And what about you, did you enjoy being a whore?” His words where kind of harsh. 

Rose didn’t know how to answer, did she enjoy the both of them? Yes. Of course, she loved it. But was it a lot? Yes. Too much? Enough to leave her in pain the next morning. “I don’t know, I haven’t decided.” She’d enjoyed laying there with the both of them. She’d found a favorite thing. With both of them, she was safe, she was protected. 

“Do you care if I crack into a bottle of wine today?” She teased his side with kisses. 

“Just don’t say anything dumb Rose, to anyone. You’re in a house full of your cousins and my brother.” 

“Is someone scared of James?” 

“If they see your neck yeah, probably.”

“They both saw it last night.” Rose stated matter of fact like. “And I’m hungry. I’ve been hungry. And I need a shower.” She gathered her clothes from out of her bag - opting for jean shorts and a flowy blouse. 

She took a hot shower, the steam coming over her body - working out the knots of worry in back. Working conditioner into her matted auburn hair, and pulling each individual knot through. Her brain was going a thousand miles an hour. She wanted to smoke, but she didn’t want to face everyone quite yet. Her shorts where kind of short, but it could have been an illusion because of longer flowy shirt. The shirt was a baby blue and solid colored it was one of her favorites. She let her hair stay down using a muggle deep leave-in conditioner to tame it. Brushing her teeth, she preferred soft bristles and the toothpaste that tasted like chocolate. She went back in the room to find Lorcan passed out again, she tip-toed to her bag for her make-up. 

Dumping the contents on the bathroom counter she covered her bruises first with the concealer, then her under eye circles from lack of sleep and probably dehydration. Covering her face and neck in a cover-all magical foundation. It was beautiful really, witch cosmetics baffled her, how it managed to make her look like a bright sun beam of joy she’d never know. She contoured her face, highlighting her features and slapped on some mascara. That would do. She actually looked fresh faced, glow on point. Her last product was a spray that kept the makeup on for twenty-four hours. Exiting the bathroom her hair still very damp, she walked into Scorpius.

“Well hello there beautiful,” he kept his voice very low, “I see you covered your neck.” 

“Yeah, it was a lot darker than last night so no unnecessary drama.” Rose shrugged at him. 

“Come get breakfast and go for a walk with me before they wake up?” He questioned her, everything in his body telling him to kiss her. “I made turkey bacon!” 

“Turkey bacon?” Rose was hopeful, “Wait you can cook?” She playfully pushed him. 

He ascended up the stairs, waiting on her noticing she took her time on the stairs and couldn’t help but notice her pained face. He immediately felt bad, “That’s my fault isn’t it...”

Rose gave him a weak smile, “I would have rather it been you. Lor, was threatening me before hand... he made me chose on purpose. I knew you’d be gentler.” 

“I wasn’t that gentle though, I should have taken it slower.” He sighed. 

“Hey, it’s okay. If he’d have done it, you probably would have hurt him. I saw how you reacted to the bruises.” 

“He hurt you, babygirl.” 

“You both hurt me. Drop it.” She took a piece of bacon off the plate, ignoring his disgruntled facial expression. 

Albus was sitting on the couch now and he hadn’t been previously. “Don’t you just look fresh faced this morning?” Albus called to Rose. 

“Shut it, Albus.” 

Albus rolled his eyes, he was obviously still cranky. “What’s with you and this one?” 

Scorpius looked at him as if he could chuck his apple at him, “I’m right here.” 

“I don’t know Al.” 

“You and Lorcan?”

“We’re okay, or we will be. I think.” Scorpius looked away and started fumbling around in the fridge. 

Albus looked confused a little bit. “Can we smoke because my head hurts...” 

Rose popped open a bottle of the buttery wine, drinking straight out of the bottle. “Rose Alivia it’s 9am your functioning on maybe three hours of sleep.” Scorpius swiped at the bottle. 

“Don’t daddy me.” Rose teased, taking the bottle back from him. 

“Eww, I’m still in here.” Albus looked at them bewildered. 

“You wanna smoke or not?” Rose raised her eyebrows at him and pulled out a blunt. 

He exited to the porch, Rose took the plate of turkey bacon and a whole tomato and swiped the sea salt off the table. “Seriously? And please tell me you brushed your teeth...” he made a gagging sound. 

“Stop giving me a hard time Al. I’m hungry.” 

“And yes, I brushed my teeth!” She passed the blunt to Scorpius to light and hit first. They finished some of it and Rose happily munched on her bacon and poured salt on the tomato and ate it like that. When she put the blunt out she handed it to Albus, “If we’re not back before everyone’s up just smoke it with them. If Lorcan asks tell him the truth - we’re talking.” 

“Don’t do anything stupid Rosie.” Albus looked at Scorpius and back at her. 

“I’m too sore to even think about it.” Rose whispered but Albus still caught it, making a gag face at the thought. 

Rose took Scorpius by the hand and tugged him across the yard. Once out of site of the house he pressed his lips to hers, “If we’re sneaking it’s wrong.” He wanted nothing more than to bury himself in her again, but alone this time. He had a tinge of guilt surface. 

“We’re not sneaking, not from Lorcan - just Albus.” 

“What if I just want you?” Scorpius buried his face in her hair. 

“Scor... please don’t. I didn’t realize he was going to do that last night.” Rose sighed. 

“Babygirl I’ve wanted you longer than that..” he was so tender with her, the way he touched her radiated love. “Think about it.” He sighed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. 

She felt sick, they where both trying her patience today. She wanted her book and her wine she’d opened earlier. 

His face fell, unable to read her and he frowned “Babygirl...” he paused studying her face, “Rose...” 

Rose shrugged him off, standing up. “No... I want to be alone... I need you guys to just not try to convince me. I’d rather not do anything with anyone than choose.” 

“Rose, he hurt you. He was willing to do a lot worse.” Scorpius pleaded with her, she looked away. “Are you scared of him?” He spoke in nothing above a whisper. 

“Of course I’m not.” Rose felt the chills come over as she felt the familiar ache on her neck. 

“I don’t believe you, babygirl.” He sighed, expressing his discontent and placing his palm on her face. 

Rose felt him go to lean in towards her, “Don’t Scor.” She pushed her hands against him, her brow furrowed, and Scorpius watched her walk away, probably going to hide out for the day. 

Which is exactly what she did for a few days, hid in her room. She eventually found herself bored - “Hey James,” she made her way to her oldest cousin. 

“I wanna play on the pole,” she sighed, “Would it be weird?” She looked over at it, she hadn’t ever imagined why James would even need one. 

“Just keep your clothes on.” He obviously read her face, “You’ll see why we need it tonight.” He looked mischievous. 

“You didn’t hire strippers did you?” 

“Something like that.” He chuckled, “Have you thought how many people we could fit in here?” 

Rose’s face lit up, “You’re throwing a party for the last night huh?”

“Yeah, and we’re going to hold a trick competition!” He looked excited, he been to too many clubs apparently. 

What he did next Rose wasn’t prepared for, he walked over to the pole, “Are you ready?” He asked excitedly before hooking his right elbow on the pole and lifting himself off the ground the pole spinning him. 

“You do it.” He grinned coming back to his footing, “it’s kinda like flying, but on a pole.” 

“Flying that requires a lot of muscle James.” 

She stepped onto the stage, hooking her right elbow and letting her left hand hold her up some. It was not as easy as he made it seem, but the pole did spin so that made it easier. 

“On a real note, how many people did you invite? Is Hadley on the list?” She wanted to see her friend, maybe she was her best friend- Rose didn’t have many of those so she wasn’t sure, but she wanted to confide in her about what had happened. 

“You seem overly excited to tell her something...” he paused before looking at the balcony where she’d realized Scorpius and Lorcan were sitting outside, “Would it be about those two?” 

Rose didn’t say anything just focused on getting the grip with her elbow and spinning. James looked at her; “What happened Rosie? One night he’s choking you out the next you’re fine and dandy with that? And what’s with Scorpius and you?” He whispered to her, in the event that either one of them walked back inside. “They’ve been weird since that night...”

“What kind of weird...” she trailed off “Show me how you climbed this?” She looked up to the ceiling it was fixated on a good 10 feet up in the air at least. 

“I mostly use my arms to climb.. I don’t know if you can do it.” He teased poking her tiny muscles on her arm. 

Rose stuck out her tongue and put her leg on the pole in several different positions finally finding one that felt good enough to put her weight on so she could pull herself. She got up twice before her arms started shaking trying to keep her up, she clenched her thighs around it and moved to the elbow grip and moved her arm down so she had a better grip and held herself off the pole, the pole spinning her around. “I did something!” 

She was so ecstatic, she hadn’t even realized Lorcan and Scorpius had crossed the threshold of the house and we’re now both gazing at her. It was enough to make her quiver and her arms were giving out so she half fell - half jumped down. “What y’all haven’t ever seen a pole competition?” James asked the two, making note of the way Lorcan glanced at Scorpius. It wasn’t friendly. James had seen that fleeting look before. 

_ “Rose Alivia Weasley,” James started, the witch looking up at him slightly confused. _

_“Yes, Jamey?” Rose mocked at the use of her middle name. _

_“Malfoy is going to tell Lorcan he fucked you.” Rose looked around the library. _

_“He’s gonna do what?” Rose tried to stay calm. _

_“Did you?” James voice was very low, Rose was trying to decide what he was thinking. _

_“Of course not,” Rose stopped, noticing her quivering lip. _

_“Rosie,” he placed his hand on hers, “you can tell me.” _

_“I’m still a virgin James. I haven’t.” She whispered tears filling her eyes, she blinked them away. _

_She needed to find Scorpius Malfoy and she needed to find him fast. She was going through the hallway searching for any sign of blonde hair before making her way to the grounds or trying to. She felt a hand on her wrist and gulped a little as it pulled her roughly into the shadows of a classroom. _

_She flinched as whoever it was shoved her into a wall, her fingers going to her throat trying to get the persons hand off of it. “Scorpius told me about how he fucked you.” He released pressure from her throat causing her to gasp for air. _

_“Really? And you believe him?” _

_“He told me to look at your neck. So let’s see.” He let go of her neck to survey the skin. _

_Rose sighed and her heart skipped a beat, there would be marks. She hadn’t slept with Scorpius but it would be really hard to convince otherwise. He inhaled deeply when he saw two different spots. “Lor... I can explain.” _

_“Please do.” _

_“We we’re drinking, I thought I saw you with Hadley, I know it was Ly now... but he was wearing your favorite yellow plaid shirt.” Rose inhaled before continuing, her voice shaky, “I found Scorpius and we were both a little more than drunk and I kissed him. I was so mad about my best friend that I went for yours.” _

_His hand found its way back to her throat, pushing on the bites. She winced, “We got a little carried away,” she looked down. _

_Unable to meet his eyes she continued, “so yes, I cheated. But I did not have sex with him - I’m still a virgin.” her words pleaded. _

_“Prove it,” he squeezed her throat a little before letting go and seeing her look up confused and scared. _

_“Prove it Princess, show me you’re a virgin.” _

_“Lor, I don’t know how to show you?” _

_“Yeah you do,” he put a table up against the door so no one could get in. _

_“Lorcan... this is not how I expected my virginity to get taken.”   
Rose frowned as he bent her over on of the desks and played with her over her underwear for a minute before plunging a finger in her._

_She groaned in discomfort. She was tight around him, she gasped a little as he slid another finger in, it almost hurt. “Hey... Lorcan, I know that you’re mad - but for the sake that my virginity is yours can you please be gentle.” Rose pleaded with him, a whimper escaping her lips at how cruel he was being.  
She looked back at his face, he was hurt by her and he still managed to soften his features at her reminder, taking it easier. She was practicing her breathing. He leaned forward to kiss her lips, and guided himself in. He was too big for her, she felt like she was going to break, and then she felt the pain - shooting through her and causing her to scream out a little as he slammed downward into her. He withdrew himself all the way to see if he had been the one to deflower her, he started out slow which Rose was thankful for, and quickened the pace as he got closer. Pulling out and cumming on her arse-cheek, he smacked the other one. “Guess you weren’t lying about the virginity. Oh and stay away from Malfoy. He’s in the circle because Albus has declared him another brother, he’s become one of my best friends. Stay away from him. Or else.” She hadn’t even confronted Scorpius about it, but she was sure Lorcan would. _

Rose seemed to have seen the look also, James took notice how her hands were shaking. Maybe she was scared of him. She hadn’t talked to either one in a few days, managing to sleep before Lorcan came to their shared room and waking up before anyone to get food. She couldn’t face either of them, let alone at the same time. 

She took herself back again, to fifth year before that fiasco had ensued. 

_“Scor,” Rose stopped, her drunken stupor wavering as his hands undid her pants button - his lips on her neck, biting down lightly and sucking - he was marking her. _

_“Scorpius, I mean it - what if it wasn’t him?”_

_He looked at her swollen lips from kissing him, “You seemed to think I’d do just fine.” but he paused, withdrawing his hands from her jeans. “I’m sorry but I really don’t see what you see in him.” _

_Rose saw his face, the way it lit up - whenever he had some crazy idea that would never work. “Scorpius Malfoy don’t you dare do anything.” _

_“Rosie love, you have marks on your neck.” His words infuriated her, she saw red and she was ready to go back to her dorm and leave everything behind for the night. It had gone to far. _

Rose gulped as a wave of nausea hit her. Merlin she was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She had once again gone to far with Scorpius Malfoy, and she was sure there would be hell to pay.


	10. Chapter 10

The drinks had been assembled, the junk food was endless; muggle and wizarding world combos. James had added lights to the outside and managed to set up a bar. “James, how many people are gonna be here?” Rose asked, as they all assembled in the living room, Rose noticed the Uno game, a no doubt magically enhanced bottle for the spin the bottle, a game Rose had never seen called cards against humanity, and Exploding Snap. Rose looked at an old fold out mat that was rolled up, which would later turn out to be a huge rubber twister mat. 

“Probably too many. But first some ground rules, sober. The three of you. Rose stay with Hadley or someone else throughout the night - as for you two,” He turned his attention to Scorpius and Lorcan “Leave my cousin alone and stay away from each other.” 

“Is that a threat James?” Lorcan asked him, only half joking. 

“Yes, it is Lorcan. Is that a problem?” James bowed up sightly. Lorcan didn’t dare say anything to James, James was quiet and reserved and was one of the few people who wouldn’t take shit all the way around. 

Rose gave him a small smile and a thankful nod, she hadn’t asked him too but he just knew. It wasn’t long before people started showing up, James pulled out a giant cooler, Rose looked in it and saw the fruit alcohol mixture. She’d more than likely need to distance herself, the amounts of alcohol present wouldn’t do well especially if Had was involved. She checked the fridge, her wine had been stashed somewhere safe at least. She closed the fridge door only to be tackled by an olive skinned girl, “Hadley!” 

“Rosie!” She lifted Rose up and spun her, “Well Albus says you have some deets. And he told me if we stay away from Lorcan and Scorpius I’m allowed to break out a single bottle of wine for us to share.” She whispered, but not like anyone would hear because James had turned up the music. 

“What did he tell you?” Rose looked over at Scorpius, who had his head in a book - he looked rather bored already. 

“He didn’t and with you it could be anything.” Hadley mused, looking towards where Rose’s attention had fluttered. “Rose, did you and M-“ she stopped when she saw Lorcan moping. 

“Why don’t we go downstairs to my room or outside by the lake?” Rose swallowed, nervousness overtaking her. 

Hadley followed Rose to the lake they had opted on that since everyone was inside. Rose sat on the cool grass, listening to the bugs of the night. “Spill it Rose.” 

“You remember the party awhile back... well Scorpius and I we -“ 

“This has been happening since the party?” 

“Kind of... it’s where it started but nothing happened that night just some tension...” Rose paused sighing, “I went to the kitchens a little bit after that and Scorpius was there and we snogged. That’s it. I cut myself off from everyone basically.” 

“So what’s so ba-“ 

“You didn’t let me finish. You see Al invited me, and we all got black out wasted and Scorpius and I you see we had a little bit of a lapse in sanity.” 

“Did you cheat on Lor?” Her eyes were wide like a deer in the headlights.

“Erm, Well- yeah that happened. But that’s just the beginning... see the next night the guys had planned to trip on X and since the dealer was a wizard it had been charmed to also have a connection with whom ever you’re tripping with,” Rose was shaking as she continued, “And uhh, Lorcan confronted me about Scorpius and it got violent. Scorpius intervened, Lorcan knows every detail thinks to drugs and...” she looked up at Hadley’s panic stricken face before mumbling the next part “I ended up having a threesome.” before finally resting her face in her hands. 

It had been slightly inaudible but Hadley caught the jest. “Rose Alivia! You had a threesome and it wasn’t with me?” She laughed, before seeing Rose’s face. “Okay, wrong time... so what’s happening with that train wreck of a love triangle?” 

Rose gulped, “They mentioned sharing me, but they’re both delusional.” 

“Did you enjoy it?” Hadley asked quietly, genuinely curious. 

“The sex was intense and a little bit too much, but laying there with them was honestly the best feeling. You know until morning came and we were sober again.” Rose sighed, looking up at the stars. 

“Well okay.” Hadley made a pop with her lips, studying the horizon. 

They sat in silence, before Hadley asked “Rose, how violent?” 

“I’m wearing makeup on my neck because after he beat the hell out of Scorpius he proceeded to try to strangle me.” 

Hadley’s eyes flashed, “I knew you should have gone for Lysander.” She shook her head, letting out a deep breath. 

“I’m honestly waiting for Ly to corner me and ask what happened, but Lorcan has been around him non-stop.” 

Hadley looked up at the night sky, “So wait, you had sex with Lorcan after he almost strangled you to death? And he pummeled Scorpius but yet you still had a threesome?” She looked at Rose in disbelief. 

“It’s complicated.”

“How long has he been like that with you Rose?” Hadley sounded concerned and her tone was grave. 

Rose looked over at her, “Like what?” 

Hadley looked over at her best friend, “Rose, how long has he been like that to you?” 

When Rose didn’t answer she sighed, “Fifth year?” Hadley prodded for answers, her only good guess. 

“Yes, fifth year is when he started getting possessive - he just didn’t show it to anyone else,” Rose swallowed the bile that was trying to come up, “but I guess that cats out of the bag, huh?” 

“Do you want to grab a card game and go to your room? I can grab the wine?” 

“I was told not to drink.” 

“You’ll get like half a bottle that’s basically two glasses...chill.” Hadley stood up and pulled Rose off the grassy lawn, “come on...” 

Rose rolled her eyes but followed Hadley across the lawn and into the house, not like she had much of a choice as Hadley was pulling her. Rose grabbed the card game called Cards Against Humanity and headed down stairs to the bottom floor thankful no one was occupying the downstairs living room. Rose cracked into the card game, finding stacks of black cards and white cards. Hadley emerged from above with a bottle of wine. 

Rose shuffled through the cards keeping the different colors separated, “These cards are funny if you haven’t ever seen it.” 

“Rosie dear I come from a muggle home.” 

Rose chuckled, “You’re right Hads.” 

“So urm, did I see correctly when your were googley eyed at my cousin?” Rose piped up once they were out of earshot of the green eyed boy. 

“Which one Rosie?” She stated playfully, a smile playing at her lips as she took out ten white cards and dealt Rose ten as well. 

“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to have more than two people playing?” Speak of the devil. Albus Severus Potter. Rose grinned, impeccable timing as always. 

“James is roping people into a giant game of spin the bottle so there could be some people coming down here. And by people I mean-“ as Albus was talking the door opened back up Lorcan, Lysander, and Scorpius all came in. 

“Mind if we play? Since we can’t drink?” Lorcan made a point to look at the bottle of wine, causing Hadley to sigh and put the bottle behind the couch. 

Rose dealt enough cards for everyone to have ten. Rose went first pulling the first black card - and Rose’s favorite response was from Albus’ deck - the black card saying “Daddy, why is Mommy crying?” And the white card saying “None of your damn business.” The game commenced onward, everyone taking turns pulling a black card and picking their favorite responses. After a win on Albus’ end collecting a total of 8 black cards they decided to pick a movie from the collection of DVDs and thanks to Hadley and her muggle knowledge they settled on The Hunger Games - which turned out to be quite interesting and slightly violent. 

“So you mean to tell me they pick kids - to kill each other?” Scorpius looked distraught. 

“There’s four movies and it’s a book series.” Hadley pointed out, looking for the other movies before finally pulling them out of the massive collection of DVDs and something called Blu-ray. 

Rose sat on the couch on the left, furthest from the two boys she’d been so close with previously. Hadley was cuddled up next to her - with Albus no less. Rose smiled slightly, she’d been pondering when that would happen. 

They’d managed to watch three of the four movies before the sleepiness settled in. Hadley and Albus were dozing off in each other’s arms, Scorpius was intent on finishing the fourth movie and Lorcan seemed just as focused. “Do you guys want to smoke?” Rose asked quietly, speaking to the two blonde boys. 

Scorpius smiled up at her and Lorcan nodded, but both boys watched her walk away to get the carefully stashed weed - she had two blunts left and she figured now would be a good time as she could cut the tension with a knife. 

Rose returned after retrieving the goods, stepping out onto the little covered patio and lighting the blunt. The guys followed her, Scorpius carefully closed the door as to not alert Albus and Hadley about them being alone. 

“You finally decided to talk to us now?” And then there was Lorcan, salty as ever, Rose made a point to roll her eyes at him. 

“I wanted to smoke, not deal with your mouth Lor.” Rose stated, as Scorpius tried to muffle a snort. 

Rose took several hits off the blunt, trying to clear her mind of everything. “Marco?” 

“Polo.” It was Lorcan who spoke first, so she passed it to him. 

“So we’ve discussed it. We’re down to be in an open relationship.” Lorcan passed the blunt to Scorpius, who nodded in agreement. 

Rose choked on her own spit a little bit, “Umm, no thanks.” She spoke softly, looking between the two boys. “I’m good. I don’t even think I want a relationship to be honest.” She had barely mumbled the words, but their faces fell and she knew this wouldn’t be the end of the conversation. 

“I haven’t been single since third year, and I think I just need to focus on me. I mean if you guys want to be friends with benefits maybe but I’m good on romance and dates and being told how to act and what to do and how to dress.” Rose’s eyes fell on Lorcan specifically, “I just wanna be Rose. No tag alongs or boyfriends. I want to focus on my career path.” 

Scorpius smirked, “Well I mean I guess that’s easier.” 

“So wait you’re done with our relationship?” Lorcan looked angry, but he kept his self under control, Rose would forever know his body language and she could see right through him. 

“I think so... I mean I might consider a friends with benefits situation if you can not be so angry and controlling.” She hadn’t meant for that to come out. 

“Not controlling - so you can just sleep with whoever right?” He didn’t hold that back either, and he looked at Scorpius “Why don’t you just go inside mate?” 

“No thanks, she’s not supposed to be alone with you.” 

“I’m actually not supposed to be alone with either of you but here we are...” she crossed her arms over her chest and looking through the door window to make sure Hadley and Albus hadn’t woken up. “Actually, I’m going to bed...”

“I’m coming with you,” Lorcan huffed, “since it’s my room too.” 

“Take my room Rose, I’ll find somewhere to sleep.” Scorpius gave her a small nod of encouragement. “The door locks so you don’t have to worry about me or anyone else coming in.” 

Rose was thankful for the quiet in the room, she wondered if it had been silenced. She did lock the door. She didn’t care because it was getting very late in the morning and her eyelids were heavy. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me some feedback so I can figure out exactly where I want this to go! I have some ideas... but input is also appreciated! Also - the chapter after this is going to show just how the relationship with Lorcan has affected her mentally. This could be a big break through for Lily’s character also!

Two weeks had passed since they’d been back at school, two weeks had gone by since they talked; by they she meant the two boys she was missing with every fiber of her being, but she wasn’t going to let herself start something or hurt one of them. Her stomach grumbled, hunger an all to common feeling recently since she’d cut herself off again. She figured it in her best interest to take a break from the essay she was working on, the lines all blurring together anyway. She couldn’t focus but that was probably because she was hungry. She was almost considering going to the kitchens like she had been doing, but she needed a change of scenery. So she threw on her jacket and proceeded to the Great Hall, not trying to look in the direction of the group. Albus gave her a look, a slightly disapproving look that she thought might have tried to be slightly concerned, forced concerned. She was aware she’d cut herself off again, she just had other issues at hand, and being around people just made it harder - maybe she’d hang out with Al by himself or with her other cousins, but not with the guys. 

She’d made it in time for owl post to arrive and to her surprise her owl dropped something off in front of her. She blew out the breath she was holding in, before opening it and reading silently to herself. 

_Rosie, _

__

__

_Please talk to me. Tonight astronomy tower? 11pm?_

_SM _

She looked over at Scorpius who seemed to be minding his own business well enough. She would not be meeting anyone, especially not him. He was the one who had caused this issue and every issue her and Lorcan had ever had, Scorpius Malfoy was just trouble. She loaded her plate with the mashed potatoes and turkey gravy that sit atop the Gryffindor table and going for the lamb chops instead of the pork chops. If if was one thing she’d loved about Hogwarts it was the food. The endless amounts of food. She wanted to eat fast enough to get out without anyone confronting her or following her to the library, she really needed a certain book to finish her essay and she didn’t have it on hand. She’d been putting it off as long as possible but it was detrimental to the task at hand.

She was one of the first few groups of people to leave the Great Hall, hoping to blend in more so than anything. She tried to keep her footsteps low and she felt like a crazy person checking behind her to see if she was being followed. She let out the breath she’d subconsciously been holding for awhile as she crossed into the safety of the library. She went through the rows before landing close to the restricted section, her fingers trailing the markers on the shelves. 

“Rosie?” She knew that voice, and as soon as she turned around she regretted coming to the library almost immediately. 

“Lorcan,” she paused allowing herself to take him in, he wasn’t sleeping well; his eyes had bags under them and he looked a mess. “I have to work on a paper I’m not here for you or anyone else.” She felt sick as the words came out like the bile that was threatening to make an appearance; Rose felt something she couldn’t place; fear maybe? 

“Can we go to Honeydukes this weekend? Pick out some Cauldron Cakes and Acid Pops? We could go visit the pet shop to if you want to look at the owls?” His hand rested beside the right side of her face, trapping her slightly.

“No - I’m not going to Hogsmeade this weekend. I’m studying and working on my essay, sorry Lor.” Rose gave him a regretful look as a lump was starting to rise in her throat. 

In the split second she’d allowed herself to feel something he’d taken advantage of it, his lips met hers softly. It was a different kiss then they’d shared in a long time, it wasn’t demanding or forceful - but sweet and tender. There was something else behind it that Rose couldn’t seem to get away from, a feeling of helplessness and need rushing over her and she was starting to lose herself in the kiss; so it was no surprise when she finally pushed him away at his chest. “I have to go.” 

His hand caught hers, “Rosie, I need you-,” 

“You don’t need me Lorcan.” Her tone was stern and she could tell it affected him negatively. 

“You didn’t let me finish....” he trailed off, looking at the ground, his hand still lightly holding hers. 

She hadn’t pulled away from him, his hand was warm in hers, and it brought her back to some of the sweeter moments they’d shared. Rose breathed out and gestured with her other hand for him to go on, “and I need you to stop avoiding me, avoiding Scorpius, Albus, Lily; you’ve even cut yourself off from Hadley, Rosie... I’m not going to do anything, I’m not going to push you or anything.”

“Says the one who just kissed me,” Rose huffed sliding her hand out of his, giving him a frown, “but I’ll try. It’s just-“

“Hard?” He whispered to her, his eyes a little bloodshot. 

“I’ve got to go Lor,” she sighed. She would check out the book a different time. She didn’t want to be near him a second longer, she didn’t want her hormones or her pesky feelings getting in the way. She pushed past him, out of the library and into the corridor hoping to make it back to her common room before anyone decided to confront her again. 

She hadn’t realized she’d been crying, she couldn’t deal with her emotions anymore. She hadn’t gotten her book she needed so she couldn’t distract herself with her school work. So sleep it was. Except sleep didn’t come easy anymore, she’d just lie awake staring at her canopy of the four poster bed. Sleep would find her eventually. It always did. 

Around ten fifty, give or take, a few hours into her dreamless sleep there was a sharp tapping on one of the windows of the tower. Owl beak on glass, she hoped it wasn’t for her. Thankfully only one other girl was actually in the dorm room - and she opened up the window and gave the owl treats. “It’s for you Rose.” The girl, Alice Longbottom, tossed her the letter and Rose could see the Slytherin seal on it. 

_ Rosie,  
I know you don’t want to, but please come see me. It’s okay if you’re late.. just please._

_S.H.M _

Rose groaned loudly, tugging on a jumper and a pair of jeans not trying to go for anything that hugged her to closely. “I’ll be back...” Rose grumbled at her dorm mate. 

“Be careful, it’s past curfew.” It was a warning, Rose knew that. 

She snuck out of the portrait hole as quietly as possible, her house shoes barely making any noise on the cold floor as she made her way to the astronomy tower. 

“Scorp?” She called out, her hand on her wand inside her jumper sleeve - just in case.

“Rosie... Hey,” he ran his fingers through his hair, he too looked tired. “Thanks for meeting me.” 

“I faced Lorcan I guess I had to face you at some point too..” Rose barely mumbled. 

He took a step closer to her, but it was Rose who flung herself into his arms; almost knocking him over. He hugged her to him, taking in how her hair smelled like peppermint and oranges, with a small hint of fireplace probably from trapping herself away in her common room all the time. He couldn’t help but notice how she nuzzled into him, she had missed him. She’d missed him more than she thought possible, laying her head against his heart she let out a sigh.

When she finally broke the embrace, he couldn’t help but study her face. She looked more broken, her face wasn’t full of life anymore and the thought alone broke him. He felt like he was half responsible. It became apparent to her when he took her hand in his and spoke softly “I’m so sorry any of that happened...” he paused to look into her eyes, “But I shouldn’t have kept on trying to get you. I always ruin things. I’m a shit human.” 

He was rambling and just couldn’t stop himself. “No wonder I’m a bloody Slytherin, I’ve hurt you so much Rose and you deserve better.” He sighed, his face paler than it had been seconds ago - even in the moonlight. 

“Scorp, stop...” Rose trailed off, her hands going up to run across his chest and up to the back of his neck. 

“Rosie...” he sounded almost out of breath at the contact between the two of them. 

“It’s always been two-sided Scorpius. I’ve always been right there with you.” Her eyes where searching his and she couldn’t stand it anymore, the space the distance, she needed him and that’s exactly what she hoped to accomplished when her lips met his. 

She was met with the same urgency that she gave out, his arms pulling her closer. Her heart was beating out of her chest and she was sure his was matching, he wanted all of her and she wanted all of him. She could tell this would be the hardest part, not having him. Even if she could have him, it would be a mess. 

“Rosie... I..” Scorpius stammered, brushed his hair back with his hand and grabbed his hair making a fist - clearly distraught. 

“I want you Malfoy.” Rose stated matter of factly, not knowing if it was the right thing to say, but also enjoying the heat that flashed in his eyes when she used his last name. 

“Alright, _Weasley_ I don’t know if we should be doing this or not...” he brushed a hair back behind her ear, giving her a quirky smirk. 

“We shouldn’t be, but here we are.” Rose pulled him to her by the shirt as she let her back hit the wall behind her with a light thud. 

Right before their lips met again they both jumped from a loud noise, someone clearing their throat. “Well, is this why you’ve been avoiding everyone?” Lily. Fucking. Potter. 

“Did you follow me?!” Rose shrieked, her hands falls from Scorpius’ cotton shirt leaving it wrinkled on his chest, glaring at Lily when she noticed the invisibility cloak over her arm.

“You’re damn right I did, it’s not every night Rose Weasley breaks curfew. Or rules in general.” Lily expressed her concern, her eyes falling on Scorpius and then back on her cousin. 

“I should go...” Rose mumbled, giving Scorpius a kiss on the cheek, not wanting to do too much in front of Lily. 

Lily threw the cloak over both of them, leaving Scorpius behind and giving Rose an apprehensive visage. “So the rumors are true?” 

“What rumors?” Rose piped up, a hint of bewilderment in her tone, she felt sick to her stomach as the uneasy feeling made a reappearance. 

“That you’re cheating on Lorcan.” 

“First of all,” Rose thought about her words before owning up to anything “I cheated yes, but Lorcan and I aren’t together. And there’s so much more to the story.” 

“I’m offended, how come I didn’t know any of this story?” She raised her eyebrows at her older cousin.

“Lil’s no offense but you are 14...” 

“I do know what sex is, I have had sex.” Lily pointed out. 

“Wait what?! With who?” Rose catechized the youngest Potter. 

“You tell me your story, I’ll tell you mine. And who I heard the rumors from.” 

“Rumors? As in plural?” 

“I could say they’re facts because my source is pretty reliable at this point.” 

“It’s Lysander isn’t it?” 

Lily flushed, not that Rose would be able to tell in the dark but she could tell by her tone, “Yes... yes it is. We got together recently and the sexual tension has just been there for so long...” 

“You are fourteen years old!” Rose’s statement brought about an eye roll. 

“Okay, sixteen years old and having a threesome!” She giggled. 

“Lily!! He told you that?!” Rose felt her skin grow hot with embarrassment. 

“Twins share almost everything.” Lily shrugged it off. 

“Wait - so did he tell you about why I haven’t been around Lor?” 

“The bruises? The abuse? Yeah. He did. He actually wants to talk to you, something about telling Auntie Luna...” 

“NO! That’ll just let WAY to many cats out of the bag and I don’t think I can do that... there’s a lot that’s happened since we’ve been together and I just I don’t want him to get in trouble.” Rose knew it sounded like she was only defending him, but she was defending the drugs, the drinking, all the sex. 

“How long was it happening Rose?” Lily was using her scary mom voice, something she’d picked up on from Aunt Ginny no doubt. 

“I mean I’m not sure exactly...” A lump formed in her throat as the night she lost her virginity flashed through her mind, she was sure her voice had broken a little. 

“What has he done?” 

“Best to let sleeping trolls sleep? Right?” Rose stiffened at her own intrusive thoughts, they where nearing the Gryffindor tower and Rose just wanted to go to bed, and that’s exactly what she did.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there lovely readers!! Thank you for following me on this journey, I’m slowly introducing more of the other characters and relationships into this. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as it’s very influential on the upcoming chapters! I would love to hear what you guys think!

Lily had taken her for tea, taken her shopping at the little strip mall in muggle London, which they where not supposed to be at, and bought her a new outfit. An olive green flowy blouse that had lace worked on top of the silky smooth material, it felt nice against her skin. The jeans were skinny style and a light blue that complimented Rose’s pale skin. Lily has also talked her into matching lace sets, she insisted on a set in several colors: green to match her new shirt and show how radiant her hair was in contrast, baby blue because it complimented her skin and made her hazel eyes pop in an intense gold, and pale yellow because Rose insisted she wanted her favorite color - Lily didn’t want to point out it was a Hufflepuff color and Lorcan was a Hufflepuff. 

They’d spent the afternoon talking mostly about school, some of the time about boys and to Rose’s dismay - Scorpius. 

“I don’t know why you’re so insistent on that relationship.. it’s - I’m in a complicated position.” Rose let out in a big breath. 

Lily snorted, “Complicated was your threesome...” 

“Lily!!!” Rose squealed, smacking her leg playfully with a bag. 

“What it’s not like...” Lily started but stopped when Rose shot her a stern Hermione look. 

“So you and Lysander?” 

“He’s around...” Lily smirked at her cousin, “and he’s quite the catch.” 

Lily looked at her feet then at her cousin, “Rosie, I think I might even love him. Or worse, might be in love with him.” Her face was flushed, and Rose couldn’t help but smile like a giddy school girl. 

“Aww, Lils!” 

“I don’t want to talk about it, my feelings are all over the place with him. Besides I’m hungry, let’s go to Meghan’s Diner and Candy Shop.”

Rose had of course been stupid to think Lily would have let it go, as it turns out she didn’t, because here Rose was having lunch with Lily and the strange blonde woman she thought of as mother figure. 

“So I’ve heard that you and Lorcan are no longer together...” Luna frowned, giving Rose a sadder face the longer she looked at her, Rose really felt as if she was disappointing her in some way, but knew better. 

“Actually yes that’s why I’ve asked you here Auntie Luna,” Lily paused as one of the twins walked in, he pushed his hair out of his face a little and Rose saw the freckle; letting out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. 

“Thought you guys could use some backup.” Lysander shrugged as Lily moved aside so he could tuck in beside her. 

“Backup?” Luna questioned her son, a puzzled look on her face. 

“I Erm, I think Lor could use some help... I mean he needs counseling or something.” Rose kept her eyes downed avoiding the word abusive or anything of that nature. 

“Is he really taking the breakup that hard?” Luna looked as though she could cry, the one thing that Luna fell apart about was her boys. “Have you talked to him? Maybe wor-“ 

“Mum, we don’t want Rosie around him,” his voice was soft but he wasn’t finished yet, “you remember when we were seven and the puppy went mis-,” 

“The dog ran away....” Luna whispered, her eyes darkening. 

“We both know that’s not true.” Rose had never heard Lysander take that solemn of a tone before, it gave her chills all the way down her spine. “He’s done things mum, things you wouldn’t approve of us doing.”

“Rose?” Her voice was stern, Rose could feel Luna’s eyes on her but Rose felt sick and love of she spoke she’d puke. 

“I...I can’t.” Rose stuttered after a minute. 

“If you can’t I will Rose.” Lysander threatened.

“Can I just get some air for a minute?” Rose was paling, her heart beating so fast she thought it might actually give out. She wasn’t sure how much he knew but it was enough, that she was sure of - she stood up and was not surprised when Lysander followed her out the door of the little shop. 

“Ly,” Rose almost begged him, “How much do you know?” 

“Enough to get him either help or thrown in Azkaban for awhile. Take your pick. I’m giving you an option, tell what you want or I’ll tell everything.” He paused because he could see her eyes searching his own, “Including the rape and I don’t think that’s my story to tell. I’m done keeping his secrets Rose, he’s hurt you long enough and I’m half at fault for letting it continue all those years.” He looked broken, his mothers face was showing on his own features. 

“I can try...” Rose’s lip quivered uncontrollably and Lysander pulled her into a hug, “You’ve got this Rosie, you’re one of the strongest girls I know.” he gave has a reassured pat on the back before letting her go out of his arms. 

Rose breathed in the crisp air before pushing the door back open and sitting down beside Luna again. “Lor has these tendencies...” she paused to look up at Lysander who gave her a nod, “he can get rather rough, he erm.. he’s a bit of a control freak.”

“Rosie... did he hurt you?” 

“He has on occasion been known to -,” 

“Rose Alivia - give me a straight forward answer. Did he hurt you?”

“Yes. He has.” Roses head dropped onto the table, her arms coming up to rest around her head. 

“On more than one occasion.” Lysander added darkly. 

“You knew about this?” Luna turned her blank expression to Lysander, her eyes throwing daggers at her son. 

“It’s not his fault... Lor can be intimidating and manipulative.” Rose sighed, a tear escaping her left eye as she lifted her head from the table, her hazel eyes appearing more green by the second.

“Just don’t... let Lor know that Lysander was here... if it gets brought up it was just me.” Rose was very clearly looking at Lysander and Lily while she spoke to Luna. 

Seeing the look on Luna’s face she quickly added “I’ll be okay, Lor won’t. He knows better at this point, I’ve got Albus and Scorpius watching after me like I’m going to spontaneously combust and Ly is always trailing behind Lor when I’m around. Which thank you for by the way,” Rose added in giving him a small smile. 

“Of course, I saw what he did at the house. I saw the marks. It blew my mind he would lose his shit that badly.” Lysander shook his head, his face a little green as he recalled their trip night. 

“I’ll see what I can do without being too overbearing or without releasing any information- but if you have any problems you owl me or go see the Headmistress do you understand?” She took Rose by the hand in a motherly way, “I’m serious Rose, you’re like my own daughter don’t keep things like that from me.” 

Rose leaned into Luna’s side as she received another hug, this time from Luna. She wasn’t sure what this accomplished, but she was sure there would be some kind of repercussion. A form of retaliation from Lorcan and it only made her want to cuddle into the Malfoy boy more.


	13. Don’t Apologize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lor- don’t do this...” she stammered, “don’t apologize. Not now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short filler chapter since I’ve been terrible at updating. Sorry guys! I’m also working on the next chapter and am trying to get it up tonight or tomorrow!!!

Rose found herself uncomfortably trapped in between Lorcan and a wall first thing in the morning. He wasn’t hurting her, just encasing his body around her, “You talked to my mum?” 

“Lor, you need help, it’s not healthy.” 

“You talked to my mum. What all did you tell her?” 

“I didn’t... tell her much, that you had some violent tendencies and that you hurt me and have before too.”

“Are you that scared of me?” 

“Yes, Lor I am. You don’t get to decide if you hurt me or not.” 

“Lorcan, away from my cousin.” Albus.

“It’s okay Al, we were just talking. Wait for me? I’ll be over in a minute.” 

“Ros-“ 

“I said give me a minute Albus.” 

Lorcan looked down at her, “Thank you...” he whispered as Albus took a few steps away.

“Seriously, Lor consider therapy. I want you to be better.”

“I’ll think about it, I have to give mum an answer by this weekend. I think she wanted me to take off school for a week or something. She’ll have to clear it with everyone first but I think that’s her plan.” 

He glanced down at her flustered face, her cheeks a bright pink against her pale skin, and her chest heaving slightly with each breath. “I’m sorry...” he whispered, his eyes tearing in the corner. 

“Lor- don’t do this...” she stammered, “don’t apologize. Not now.” She glanced over at Albus who was gripping onto his wand pretty hard, Rose noticed Lysander had appeared next to Albus in the corridor. 

“I want to talk to you, privately at some point. Whenever you’re ready. Hopefully before I leave...” 

“So you are leaving?” 

“I,” he paused looking over his shoulder at his brother and Albus, “Think it’s in our best interest.” 

Rose gulped when he said our, she didn’t know why it made her stomach drop so deeply into her belly - or why it made her sick to her stomach but she didn’t like it. She just wanted space from him; she wasn’t sure if she could distinguish sexual tension and regular tension - whatever it was there was a lot of it. 

“Come on Rosie,” Albus called out as Lorcan pushed away from the wall, un-trapping her.

Rose took a deep breath, studying his features one more time before pushing past her ex-boyfriend. She was shaking and flustered, but she knew she would meet with him in due time. She just didn’t want anyone to know. Not Albus, not Lysander, not Lily, definitely not Scorpius.


	14. Sneaking Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just want to be good for you. I don’t want you to hate me. You’re too important. I love you too much.”

It didn’t take Rose long to ponder on whether to meet him with him or not - she’d owled him earlier in the day to confirm their meeting spot, to her surprise he’d picked the passage way near the Trophy Room, there was a tapestry that they’d found in third year, a passageway that would take them from the Trophy Room to the Charms Classroom. 

She wasn’t sure of herself or her thought process, she just wanted to see him. She felt like she was having withdrawals; if having withdrawals from a person was a thing? She didn’t honestly know what she was going to say or do, or what he was going to say or do. She sighed lightly, pulling on her favorite hoodie and studying her reflection, she really felt like she should have been doing more for herself. Not sleeping was taking the light away from her eyes and darkening her under eye circles, she hadn’t realized how hard everything had been - on her body at least. 

Making her way down to the common room, hoping to avoid all people, she made an swift exit and started towards the Trophy Room. She knew she shouldn’t be meeting with him, she knew she was not only breaking rules, but also her own morals. Then there’s basically everyone who’s been around “protecting” her, Lysander would kick her ass, Albus would too. She didn’t even want to think about Malfoy. The thought made her face go even paler, she was thankful for the surrounding darkness as she approached the tapestry. 

“I was thinking you wouldn’t show...” Lorcan stepped out of the tapestry, offering her his hand. 

Rose was not surprised at her body’s automatic response to take his hand, after everything she still trusted him - even with everything screaming at her to not. Once inside the passage way, he gave her some space; not wanting to push her away again. “What do you want to talk about Lor?” Rose sighed, dropping his hand putting even more space between them. 

“I just need you to know I’m sorry, For everything. How I’ve acted, what I’ve done...” He paused, looking down at his feet, “and I know there’s a lot..” if there had been light in the passage way or if they had lit their wands Rose would see the shades of embarrassment littering his face. “And an apology doesn’t make any of it right... any of it.. I’m not a good person. I wish I could be there person you need.” He sighed, but this time he sounded closer to her, “I wish that I was him...”

“Lorcan, I’m sorry... I wish that had never happened, I didn’t mean-“

“For me to find out?”

“I-umm-“ Rose took a deep breath, thinking about her next words carefully. “I didn’t mean for it to happen Lor...” she paused, taking a step closer to where she thought he was, even though her entire mind was screaming at her not too “I’m sorry too...” she whispered.

“Rose,” she could tell by his voice he was distressed, “I just want to know why it’s always been him?” 

“Lor it’s always been you, since day one. You’re my best friend, you’re the one I want to talk to when I’ve had a bad day. It’s always been you. Not him.” 

“Here recently it’s been him.” He was trying so hard to remain calm, his voice even sounded sad. 

“Lor, I -,” she could feel herself reaching out for him, her hands falling on his chest, “I’m sorry.” She let her hands trail up to the back of his neck, pulling herself closer. 

“Rose Weasley are you trying to seduce me?” He whispered to her, his voice right in her ear. 

“Maybe..” Rose touched her lips to his neck, giving him light kisses, inhaling in his scent that she’d missed so much. 

“Pretty sure we are not even allowed to be talking.” Lorcan’s grin was coming out in his words. 

“I’m pretty sure this is why no one wanted us talking.” 

Rose felt his left hand travel down her back to grab her arse, his right hand was cradling her face, and the next thing that happened was his lips on hers. She didn’t shove him away or break the kids, she welcomed it. The familiarity, the intensity. The way his lips fit into hers, how he always tasted of honey. His right hand made its way into her mess of curls, he gave her a slight pull testing the waters and she practically melted in his arms. “Are you okay with this Princess?” A muffled moan escaped her mouth and Rose shook her head yes.

“Lorcan, I need you.” 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that again.” He snogged her harder, this time she pulled at his pajama pants, pushing them down - whimpering slightly as he pushed her against the wall of the passage way. 

“Are,” He spoke between kisses, “you-“, pulling her face back to looK at him now that his eyes had adjusted, “sure? I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” 

“Lor, please...” she was shaking, her body was craving him. Withdrawals. “I need you.” 

That was all it took, he pulled her pants down and picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and pinning her back to the wall. He was already hard and she was more than ready, to be honest with herself she’d known this would happen. It just felt too good for her to deny herself, he was being extra sweet too, paying special attention to her collarbone - which she would have to hide later, but she didn’t care because it sent chills down her spine. Each time he pushed in her, she let herself just be held by him, taking in the extra embrace - letting out moans he tried to muffle with kisses. “Now Princess, we have to be quiet... or I’m gonna have to hold your mouth...” he warned her, pushing in her harder this time eliciting a louder moan. 

Rose had nearly came when he called her Princess again, she knew it wouldn’t be long now and couldn’t control herself. “Harder...” She moaned out, feeling him move his hand to her mouth. 

“What’s the magic word?” 

“Harder, please.” She whispered when he removed his hand, he quickly replaced his hand and plowed into her and upon feeling her back arch smiled to himself. 

“Rosie! I’m about to...” 

“Inside me..” her nails dug into his back, her mouth still covered so her words were muffled, but he knew and that’s exactly what he did. His lips found hers as he emptied inside of her, holding her shaking body closer; both his arms wrapping around her now. 

“We probably weren’t supposed to do that...” He whispered in her ear before kissing her clammy cheek and brushing her hair back with his fingers - he pulled out of her, trying not to make a mess and sat her down on her feet. 

Rose pulled up her pajama pants slightly embarrassed, but also feeling satisfied. “We probably shouldn’t have... but I’m glad we did.” 

“Are you and Scorpius together?” 

“No, not exactly, and even if we were - he’s stupid if he thinks I’m just gonna leave you alone.” admittedly her words had come out before she could think about them and he looked smug. 

“Do you want me to walk you back?” he asked her politely. 

“That’s probably not a good idea, you know my cousins-“

“Have a map that can show them where you are...” 

“Fuck, it’s still probably best we don’t get seen together - regardless. This is our little secret.” 

“I also talked to my mum about the center, and I’m gonna finish this week of classes up and then go ahead and go - I think mums worked it out where they’ll send me the course material. They said I can’t see you while I’m there though.” He made a pouty face, Rose could just make it out in the dark. 

“I’m proud of you.” 

“For what?”

“For taking help when it’s offered.” 

“I just want to be good for you. I don’t want you to hate me. You’re too important. I love you too much.”

Rose felt a blush creep up on her face and the ache between her legs she was suddenly aware of, as well as the bites on her collarbone that would be very visible in the morning. She swallowed, “Well I’m proud of you,” she stated again before continuing, “and I could never hate you Lor. Never.” 

A small portion of her really wanted Lorcan to get it together and another portion felt like a complete arse the longer she stood their with him. She was guilty. She’d gone behind everyone’s backs, she wasn’t even supposed to be around with him - let alone shagging him in a passageway. She gave him a small kiss on the lips, before hugging him hard - allowing herself to breathe him in one more time before she left. When she pulled away Lorcan pointed his wand at her belly and muttered the contraceptive charm and kissed her forehead. “Be careful and don’t get caught out of bed.” he whispered to her as she made her way out from behind the tapestry.


	15. Pick Up The Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No Rose, you’re just broken.” He snaked his right hand into her left, caressing the back of her hand. 
> 
> “I don’t want to be broken...” she could feel her eyes spilling over again, and she didn’t like it.

Rose wasn’t sure how she felt after last night, but she knew that Albus’ eyes followed her until she sat down beside him. He looked over at Lysander, who was chatting with Lily, and then back at her. “Morning Rosie, long night?”

“Urm, no...?”

“Really? You don’t think I’m not keeping an eye on you? Seeing what kind of mischief you get into and with whom?” 

“Are you my dad?” Rose asked her cousin, her voice dripping in defensiveness. 

“Rose... we have been making sure he stays away from you. And you go and seek him out... for what?” 

“Al! We were talking, that’s all.” 

“Two people don’t stand that close when they’re talking.” His green eyes flashed dangerously. 

“Who else knows?” Rose flushed red. 

“No one, but I have a feeling I should tell Scorp.” 

“Albus please don’t. He’s going to get help, we were literally just talking. He knows what he’s done is wrong. He gets it. He knows he’s bad for me.” She kept her voice down, as Lysander gave her a small smile before turning back to Lily.

Scorpius had entered the Great Hall, and Albus looked pressed. “Albus please don’t.” 

“I’m not Rose, but next time I will.” 

“Good because it’s not polite to smile.”

“It’s not polite to play my best friends either. we’ll talk about this later. Without an audience.” 

Rose threw him a glare, as Scorpius sat down beside her. She wouldn’t be talking about it later, “Good morning, Scorp.” Rose kept her eyes on Albus, daring him to say something. 

“Good morning Rosie, Albus.” He piled his toast on his plate, followed by scrambled eggs and bacon. “Why so grim?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Just not looking forward to Charms.”

“Well, we’ll be there so at least you have us!” Scorpius tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, not knowing he was precisely the reason she didn’t want to go to Charms, instead she gave him a small smile. 

Rose finished up the bacon Albus put on her plate, mumbling about how she needed to eat to keep up her blood sugar. It earned him an eye roll as she crunched the bacon, which had turned out to be turkey bacon. She did start feeling better, maybe Albus was right about one thing in her life, or a lot of things, but lack of food made her grouchy. 

She sipped her juice as she waited for the two boys to get ready so they could go to their class. Once they where finished Rose followed the two boys out of the Great Hall, bags slung over their shoulders. Lorcan walked into the Great Hall as they where about to walk out, his eyes falling down her body and back up with a grin on his face. Rose tried to keep the blush off her face, but it didn’t work and her cheek where sentenced to burn in the fire. Scorpius stopped to fall into step beside her, “You okay?” he asked taking her hand and tugging her forward, onward to the class they shared.

Lorcan let out a small chuckle, causing Albus to roll his eyes and she could have sworn she saw Scorpius’ eyes darken to a shade of what she would describe as iron. “Scorp, don’t...”

“Wasn’t going too.” 

Rose let out a deep breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in, and continued the walk to their charms classroom. Rose took her seat next to Hadley and Scorpius sat next to Albus. She could hardly focus on the lesson; she managed to take notes, but didn’t understand them yet - at the very least she’d have to look over them. 

She was nudged by Hadley when she realized the professor was speaking to her, “Miss Weasley, since you seem to not be as present as you normally are can you please run these papers down to Mister Scamander at the Headmistress’ office?” Rose gulped, her eyes shooting towards Scorpius. 

“Yes Professor, of course.” She retrieved the papers and her pass, keeping her head down and making her way to the Headmistress’ Office. 

To her surprise was Auntie Luna and Lorcan sitting in the chairs, “Thank you Miss Weasley, but I’d like you to sit as well.” 

“Yes Headmistress.” Rose wasn’t going to test McGonagall or Luna. Not today. 

“As you are aware, Mister Scamander is going to be in a treatment facility, we would like for you to know that your owl post will be monitored to keep the two of you from seeing or talking to each other for the duration of the treatment program.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Rose hung her head low, her eyes falling on Lorcan’s. 

“We’ve chosen to keep your parents out of this, so please keep this to yourself. Lysander knows of course, but other than need to know.” Luna’s eyes pleaded with her. 

“Of course, Auntie Luna.” 

“Back to class Miss Weasley.” McGonagall nodded at her. 

Rose took a deep breath once she was out of the office, she took her time going back to class. In fact, class was basically over when she got back, and Scorpius wouldn’t look at her. Hadley looked like she’d overheard something that had been said. 

When it was time for class change she basically bolted out of the door, she didn’ot know if she could sit through a Divination class currently and she didn’t intend to find out. She needed fresh air, she had half a mind to go hide out in the woods for a bit; but thought better of it when she realized Albus would use the map to find her anyway. 

She wasn’t sure if anyone was following her but she figured any confrontation would be better done away from people. She made it half way through the grounds before someone finally grabbed ahold of her wrist - it wasn’t rough, just enough to stop her from going further. 

“Rose...” she knew it was him before he even spoke. 

“Scorp I can’t do this right now, I’ve got entirely to much going on in my head.. Lorcan is going to a treatment facility. Which by the way means there’s no contact until he’s done with treatment.”

“Rose... can you just take a minute to breathe please.” She hasn’t realized he’d guided her down to the lake already and she definitely couldn’t pinpoint when she’d started crying. 

“Hey... hey wait, what else is bothering you?” 

“What are we Malfoy?” His face hardened at the use of his last name, almost as if it stung him. 

“I think the question is what are you and Lorcan?” 

Rose gulped before taking a deep breath, “So you know?” 

“Yeah.. Albus told me. It’s stupid to be alone with him Rose, he manipulates you. He’s toxic for you.”

“It wasn’t even him...”

“What do you mean it wasn’t him?” 

“I asked to meet, he said I didn’t have too. I just needed to hear an apology...” 

“Did you get it?”

“Yes...”

“Did you guys-?”

“It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve ever done something stupid...” 

He grabbed the bridge of his nose, clearly in distress, slumping down the tree. “I told you before I’d share you, but I don’t know if I can do that... you at least have to be honest with me. So I know if he hurts you...” 

“That’s it...? No big blow up?” 

“No.. Rosie you’re going to do whatever you want no matter what. You really think starting a fight is going to prove anything?” He looked up at her and patted the grass next to him. 

Rose took his offer and sat down next to him, laying her head on his shoulder. “I’m a really big fuck up aren’t I?” 

“No Rose, you’re just broken.” He snaked his right hand into her left, caressing the back of her hand. 

“I don’t want to be broken...” she could feel her eyes spilling over again, and she didn’t like it. 

“Baby steps, dear Rosie. You just gotta pick up the pieces.” She felt so guilty that this wonderful guy in front of her couldn’t have her at her best, they had to see the broken. 

“You got me into all this.” She whimpered, but barely. 

“I believe I got you out of something much worse if I say so myself.” 

“Can we maybe not tell Lysander that I slept with his brother again? I can’t handle that conversation right now. I feel like he’ll be more disappointed than you and Al.” 

“I didn’t plan on telling anyone anything. That’s you, it’s not my position to say anything.” He spoke so business-like, growing up with the Malfoy’s would do that Rose guesser.

“So formal all the time.” Rose has fixated on a spot on the Black Lake, it had a ripple in the middle and was becoming even more intense. 

“I don’t like drama.” She felt him shrug a bit, and heard the sigh of escape his lips. 

“Says the one who opened Pandora’s Box of drama.” She couldn’t help but giggle slightly, as she twirled her curl around her index finger. 

“Rose?” His voice was so calm and caring. 

“Yeah?” She continued to stare out at the lake, fiddling with one of her curls. 

“Shut up and kiss me.” He spoke in a whisper, turning her face to his so their lips met and they stayed like that, hands caressing each other lightly, lips brushing against each other’s. 

Rose let out a shaken suspire after breaking off the kiss, “I have no clue what I’m doing...”

“You’re a pretty good kisser to me.” He smirked at her and playfully pulled on the curl she’d been twirling in her finger tips previously.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter alert don’t come for me. I have plans with this story. Trying to get it finished up this week.

Rose sighed into Scorpius’ lap as the last week of June had come to soon, between the heaping amounts of homework and all the late night study sessions time flew by ridiculously fast. She was sure she’d see Scorpius at least once during the break, at least she hoped she would, but nonetheless she was unsettled. A pit in her stomach eating at her, she knew the boys would be around The Burrow- the Scamander’s that is so she knew he was bound to see her at some point. She wondered if Lorcan would be out any time soon, if it was like a muggle psych-ward she’d read about or if it was something of a more magical intensity.

She felt Scorpius’ fingers smoothing her curls gently, she could almost fall asleep at his touch. Almost, if her mind wasn’t going a million miles an hour. She was so utterly confused, confused and hurt. Her feelings were eating at her, and she hadn’t slept in days, if not weeks or months; actually she couldn’t remember the last time she slept well- without nightmares or waking up in tears. Rose couldn’t help but let a tear slide down the side of her temple and onto his lap. He wouldn’t feel it since he was wearing a pair of muggle jeans that looked suspiciously like Albus’. 

“Promise me you’ll write?” 

“Of course, Little Red.” 

“Ewww, don’t call me Little Red - that’s distasteful.” Rose scrunched her nose at his words. 

“I figured it was more tame than Babygirl in front of your cousins.” He smirked as her face went red as a tomato and her lips pushed together to form a hard line of disapproval or embarrassment. 

“I don’t think Lily and Ly are even paying us attention...” Rose nodded towards them as they were wrapped up in each other, holding hands and talking amongst themselves excitedly. “And I don’t even know where Jo’ and Al went... they left almost thirty minutes ago.” Rose looked up at the face of the young man she was laying on; he had a small smile on his face and Rose took a deep breath before lifting up to give him a small kiss. 

“I may not be able to see you until August unfortunately, my father wants to go visit my mums family - father likes to visit my grandfather near mum’s birthday....”

“No worries Scorp, just owl me and I’ll owl you. Talk to me if you need too, talk to Albus. He’ll talk to any of us if you need too.”

“I’m only worried about one thing, babygirl.” he barely whispered and laced his hand in hers, leaving Rose to ponder what he meant. 

Unfortunately, she had a feeling she knew what he meant because she was worried about the same thing. She was terrified to let her emotions run her, she’d been doing okay without Lorcan, but she was also excited to see him. He inhaled a deep breath and exhaled before he continued, “Just if you do anything let me know? Don’t leave me in the dark... I’m okay with- you know that.” 

Lysander perked up and shot them a glance, narrowing his eyes at the pair, “And she will not- if I have anything to do with it.” he was almost glaring daggers at her, she could feel them cutting into her stomach and felt her nausea return, raw nervous nausea - she didn’t want to see him; but there was something deep down that knew she wanted too. 

She craved him, just as she craved Scorpius. It was different though and she hoped he was doing what he needed to do so it could work at least halfway. Rose snuggled into Scorpius for the remainder of the ride. 

They arrived at the train station, but before departing Rose gave Scorpius a tight hug and lined his neck with kisses before giving him a kiss that made her breathless. “Until we meet again love.”

“Rosie?”

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.”

Rose took a deep breath in, “I love you too, Scorp.”


	17. This train wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little update on this story -

Okay! So don’t hate me, but I’ve been rewriting this and have some of a sequel done but in parts and plan to have this revised soon enough! So when you get a next chapter update (for those who have this saved you wonderful humans) you may wanna go through and reread I’ll include the chapters that do change! Honestly this is going to be so much more plottier and angsty and I’m so excited to share this with you guys! For those who have stayed for this train wreck I applaud you. You guys are experiencing my first actual fanfic that’s coming to completion and honestly it’s a lot. I’m apologizing to all of you for keeping you waiting for so long.... and for getting your hopes up. I’m an arse. But anyway, much love. Kinda want to hear your weigh ins and thoughts and what you like/dislike. Anyway hope you’re all doing well.


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